Quotes by Derek Landy

Still, he figured, sometimes youve got to do what youve got to do, and then sometimes youve just got to run like hell after its done.

Being a detective isnt all about torture and murder and monsters. Sometimes it gets truly unpleasant...The fate of the world may depend on whether or not you can bring yourself to visit your relatives.

They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, Valkyrie said. China glanced at her. Theyve obviously never met me.

Were not retreating, were advancing in reverse. --Skulduggery Pleasant

Stairs, Valkyrie said, disappointed.Not just ordinary stairs, Skulduggery told her as he led the way down. Magic stairs.Really?Oh, yes.She followed him into the darkness. How are they magic?They just are.In what way?In a magicky way.She glared at the back of his head. They arent magic at all, are they?Not really.

Its not that I want you to go, its just that I dont want you to stay. - China Sorrows -

I swear, talking to you is like talking to a really good-looking and mildly stupid brick wall.

An untied shoelace can be dangerous, he said.I could have tripped.She stared at him. A moment dragged by.Im joking, he said at last.She relaxed. Really?Absolutely. I would never have tripped. Im far too graceful.

Plans are invitation to disappointment.

You have no idea about presents or what they mean. The lastpresent you gave me was a stick.”“You wanted a weapon.”“It was a stick.”“It had a bow on it.”“It was a stick.”“I thought you liked the stick. You laughed.

Where are you going?Nowhere special. I just have some... things to do.Why did you pause?Im sorry?You paused. You have some... things to do.No reason, I just--Youre up to something.No--Then whyd you pause?Get in the car.She got in. He got in.Seat belt, he said.Whyd you pause?His head drooped. Because Im up to somthing.And why cant I come with you?Because its something sneaky.Do you promise to tell me later?I do.Well all right then. She clicked her seat belt into place. Lets go.

Corrival looked around. So is this it? Is everyone here? Erskine, maybe you should start the ball rolling. I have places to go and things to do.Me? Ravel asked. Why do I have to start it? Youre the most respected mage here. You start it, or Skulduggery.Skulduggery shook his head. I cant start it. I dont like most of these people. I might start shooting.

Youre under arrest for multiple counts of murder. You have the right to not much at all, really. Do you have anything to say in your defense?

You look angry, he said.You put me on hold.For a very good reason.You put me, she said very, very slowly, on hold.

Of course I want to kill you, said Skulduggery. I want to kill most people. But then where would I be? In a field of dead people with no one to talk to.

If anyone stops us, as long as we mumble something pretentious about the glory of death, we should be fine.

Every once in a while, I get the urge. You know what I’m talking about, don’t you? The urge for destruction. The urge to hurt, maim, kill. It’s quite a thing, to experience that urge, to let it wash over you, to give in to it. It’s addictive. It’s all-consuming. You lose yourself to it. It’s quite, quite wonderful. I can feel it, even as I speak, tapping around the edges of my mind, trying to prise me open, slip its fingers in. And it would be so easy to let it happen. But we’re all like that, aren’t we? We’re all barbarians at our core. We’re all savage, murderous beasts. I know I am. I’m sure you are. The only difference between us, Mr Prave, is how loudly we roar. I know I roar very loudly indeed. How about you? Do you think you can match me?

Tanith frowned. Did people still go on DATES any more? She was sure they did. They probably called it something different though. She tried to think of the last date shed been on. The last PROPER date. Did fighting side by side with Saracen Rue count as a date? They ended up snuggling under the moonlight, drenched in gore and pieces of brain - so it had PROBABLY been a date. If it wasnt, it was certainly a fun time had by all. Well, not ALL. But she and Saracen had sure had a blast.

Fletcher was always going to be your ex-boyfriend, from the moment you met him. Hes just finally caught up with where hes supposed to be.

Im placing you under arrest for murder, conspiracy to commit murder and, I dont know, possibly littering.