Quotes by Derek Landy

What are you doing?Im, uh, acting normal.No youre not. Youre acting like someone pretending to be normal. Stop pretending and start acting, but dont act like youre not pretending, thatll make it worse.

Ive always been a monster, Scapegrace told her, but now, finally, my physical for reflects my inner darkness.You smell terrible.Thats the smell of evil.Its like rancid meat and bad eggs.Evil, Scapegrace insisted.

Hmmm... thats interesting.What?There seems to be a gentleman walking towards us with a shotgun.

Just a few questions for you, Mr. Dunne. Or Kenny. Can I call you Kenny? I feel weve become friends in these past few seconds. Can I call you Kenny?

We watch television and we play music, but mostly weve found ways to amuse ourselves. Really? Valkyrie asked. Like what?Plights smile faded. Like human sacrifice.He grabbed one arm and Lenka grabbed the other and Valkyrie cried out.They both let go, laughing.Naw, Plight said, we just play board games.

You think Bernadette Maguire killed him?”“Uh… no. She’s, like I said, she’s old.”“Old people can kill people too.”“I know, but…”“She could be a ninja.”“She’s not a ninja, for God’s sake. She’s somebody’s great grandmother.”“I want you to think carefully about this, Kenny. Have you ever seen her with a sword?”“What?”“How about throwing stars?”“This is ridiculous.”“Have you ever seen her dressed up as a ninja? That would have been my first clue.”The girl sucked in her cheeks so she wouldnt laugh out loud.

“Just because an apple falls one hundred times out of a hundred does not mean it will fall on the hundred and first.”

“I love you all, even those I don’t particularly like. That’s you, Beryl.”

“If anyone stops us, as long as we mumble something pretentious about the glory of death, we should be fine.”

“Of course I want to kill you, said Skulduggery. I want to kill most people. But then where would I be? In a field of dead people with no one to talk to.”