Quotes by Derek Landy

I find it rude to laugh at a man with a sword.

But Im really enjoying my retirement. I get to sleep in every day. I do crossword puzzles and eat cake.

I mean you ACRES of harm, Dalrymple growled. Untold QUANTITIES of harm. I will visit a whole CONTINENT of harm upon you before we are through.

Im going to photograph every single person to enter and leave this tattoo parlour. Finbar rolled his eyes. And theyll hate that, because people who get dragons drawn on their backs are normally so shy about other people noticing them.

Hed once known a man who said that life hinged on the moment, that everything changed in the blink of an eye. Tesseract knew the truth of that as well as anybody. It was in those moments that he struck, after all, snatching peoples lives away. Hed always known that it was only a matter of time before one of those moments worked against him.

I wasnt always who I am now. No one ever is. Ive spent my entire lifetime becoming who I am. Finally, Im here and Im old. Its depressing, it really is.

The lies we tell other people are nothing to the lies we tell ourselves.

I understand perfectly. Darquesse isnt a separate entity. She isnt another person. Shes you. If you make the wrong choices, if you stop loving the people who love you, if you allow the world to twist and turn and change you, then yes, the future weve seen will come to pass. But if you fight, and if you kick, and struggle, and refuse to give in to the apathy, or the anger, or the hopelessness, then youll change the future, and youll walk your own path. And Ill be right there beside you, Valkyrie. Ill always be beside you.

I love stories with a happy ending,” Inspector Me said.

A living skeleton isnt enough for you, is it? What does it take to impress young people these days?

Stephanie had no problem doing what shewas told, just so long as she was given a good reason why sheshould.

Valkyrie made a face. Bloody vampires.Ryan sat forward. That was a vampire? That guy who looked like an accountant?We dont talk about vampires, Skulduggery warned.But it was daytime. How could he have been out during the-We dont talk about vampires! Valkyrie said sharply.Ryan shrunk back. Sorry, he said.Dont worry about it, Skulduggery told him. Valkyrie used to date a vampire thats

Doesnt sunlight kill them? Doesnt it turn them to dust, or make them burst into flames or something?Nope. Vampires tan, just like you and me. Well, just like you. I tend to bleach.

Violence?Skulduggery said. Violence is never the answer, until its the only answer.

Valkyrie Cain got out of the passenger side. She zipped upher black jacket against the cold, and joined Skulduggery as hewalked up to the front door. She glanced at him, and saw that he was smiling.Stop doing that,” she sighed.“Stop doing what?” Skulduggery responded in that gloriously velvet voice of his.“Stop smiling. The person we want to talk to lives in the only dark house on a bright street. That’s not a good sign.”“I didn’t realise I was smiling,” he said. They stopped at the door, and Skulduggery made a concerted effort to shift his features. His mouth twitcheddownwards. “Am I smiling now?”“No.”“Excellent,” he said, and the smile immediately sprang back up.

Theres a clock on the wall. Press your hand against the face and turn it very slightly to the. Left. Therell be a click to tell you its done.Sounds easy enough.Yes it does, said Sanguine. Kiss for good luck?Maybe later, said Gracious.How about a handshake? Asked Donegan.

Whats a Dullahan?Hes a headless horseman, in the service of the banshee.Headless?Yes.Seriously?Yes.So he has no head?Thats usually what headless means.No head at all?Youre really getting hung up on this headless thing, arent you?Its just kind of silly, even for us.Yet you spend your days with a living skeleton.But at least he has a head.True.He even has a spare.

Skul-man! he exclaimed as he rushed forward to shake his hand. Last I heard you were trapped on a dead world overrun by evil trans-dimensional superfiends! Skulduggery nodded. Just got back.

mostly weve had to found ways to amuse ourselves.Really? Valkyrie asked. Like what?Plights smile faded. Like human sacrifice.He grabbed one arm and Lenka grabbed the other and Valkyrie cried out.Then they both let go. laughing.Naw, Plight said, we just play board games....she fell for it! gasped Lenka. She fell for the human sacrifice bit!

Here she is,” her mum said, cooing at the baby, “my special girl.”“Oh, cheers,” Valkyrie said, rolling her eyes.