Quotes by Christopher Moore

Im feeling full of tiny princes, bustling to get out into the world and start plotting against one another.

Children see magic because they look for it.

Why write a song when no one can play the notes or understand the lyrics?

Andrew Lloyd Webbers version of the Kool-Aid jingle is at once chilling and evocative. Donny Osmond is brilliant as James Jones.

Sweet Pocket, you mustn’t ask about my life before I came here. What I am now, I have always been, and everything I am is here with you.”　　“Sweet Thalia,” said I. “That is a fiery flagon of dragon toss.

You cannot believe what you do not believe, Rumi siad. I am an Untouchable because my karma dictates it.

If theyd been dogs, they would have all been in the yard eating grass and trying to yak up whatever was making them feel so lousy. Not a bone gnawed, not a ball chased-all tails went unwagged. Oh, life is a fast cat, a short leash, a flea in that place where you just cant scratch.

Theres a fine edge to new grief, it severs nerves, disconnects reality--theres mercy in a sharp blade. Only with time, as the edge wears, does the real ache begin.

But Charlie could imagine, because he was a Beta Male, and imagination was his curse....

Blessed with the Beta Male imagination, he spent much of his life squinting into the future so he might spot ways in which the world was conspiring to kill him...

The Beta Male is seldom the strongest or the fastest, but because he can anticipate danger, he far outnumbers his Alpha Male competition. The world is led by Alpha Males, but the machinery of the world turns on the bearings of the Beta Male.

We were seekers. You are that which is sought, Joshua. You are the source. The end is divinity, in the beginning is the word. You are the word.

The three jewels of Tao: compassion, moderation, and humility. Balthasar said compassion leads to courage, moderation leads to generosity, and humility leads to leadership.

So Im all, Owned! Bee-yatch! Dog fucking owned you! Doing a minor booty dance of ownage, perhaps, in retrospect, a bit prematurely. (I believe hip-hop to be the apprpriate language for taunting, at least until I learn French.)

What are you working on? Elizabeth asked. Nate could hear her tapping a pencil on her desk. She took notes during their conversations. He didnt know what she did with the notes, but it bothered him.I have a lecture at the sanctuary in four days. Why, why had he told her? Why? Now shed rattle down the mountain in her ancient Mercedes that looked like a Nazi staff car, sit in the audience, and ask all the questions that she knew in advance he couldnt answer.

And Ill have you know that if you hurt my son again, if he so much as sighs sadly over his coffee, I will hire a man, a Russian, probably, to hunt you down and rip all that shiny black hair from your head, then break your skinny arms and legs, and set you on fire, and then put you out with a hammer. And should there be children from your beastly rutting, I shall have the Russian man cut them to tiny pieces and feed them to Madame Jacobs dog. because, although he may be only a worthless, simpleminded, libertine artist, Lucien is my favorite, and I will not have him hurt. Do you understand?

Pondering is a little like considering and a little like thinking, but looser. To ponder, one must let the facts roll around the rim of the minds roulette wheel, coming to settle in whichever slot they feed pulled to.

Im beginning to wonder, said Kent, sitting down now on an overturned wooden tub. Who do I serve? Why am I here?You are here, because, in the expanding ethical ambiguity of our situation, you are steadfast in your righteousness. It is to you, our banished friend, that we all turn—a light amid the dark dealings of family and politics. You are the moral backbone on which the rest of us hang our bloody bits. Without you we are merely wiggly masses of desire writhing in our own devious bile.Really? asked the old knight.Aye, said I.Im not sure I want to keep company with you lot, then.

Apologies, one loses perspective after spending a week in a brothel.

The medium obscured the message.