Quotes by Bill Watterson

Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and youre just a reflection of him?

Thats one of the remarkable things about life. Its never so bad that it cant get worse.

You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.

I hate to think that all my current experiences will someday become stories with no point.

The world isnt fair, Calvin.I know Dad, but why isnt it ever unfair in my favor?

Im not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am?

Now what state do you live in?Denial.

From now on, Im not doing anything I dont want to do! The world owes me happiness, fulfillment and success.... Im just here to cash in.

Calvin: Why are you crying mom?Mom: Im cutting up an onion.Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.

Hobbes: Jump! Jump! Jump! I win! Calvin: You win? Aaugghh! You won last time! I hate it when you win! Aarrggh! Mff! Gnnk! I hate this game! I hate the whole world! Aghhh! What a stupid game! You must have cheated! You must have used some sneaky, underhanded mindmeld to make me lose! I hate you! I didnt want to play this idiotic game in the first place! I knew youd cheat! I knew youd win! Oh! Oh! Aarg! [Calvin runs in circles around Hobbes screaming Aaaaaaaaaaaa, then falls over.] Hobbes: Look, its just a game. Calvin: I know! You should see me when I lose in real life!

If you cant win by reason, go for volume.

I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world.

Years from now, when Im successful and happy, ...and hes in prison... I hope Im not too mature to gloat.

[Calvin and Hobbes are playing Scrabble.] Calvin: Ha! Ive got a great word and its on a Double word score box! Hobbes: ZQFMGB isnt a word! It doesnt even have a vowel! Calvin: It is so a word! Its a worm found in New Guinea! Everyone knows that! Hobbes: Im looking it up. Calvin: You do, and Ill look up that 12-letter word you played with all the Xs and Js! Hobbes: Whats your score for ZQFMGB? Calvin: 957.

The secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby thats even worse

Ive got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.

Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! Id say our afternoon just got booked solid!

Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz. I love loopholes.

Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.