Quotes by Bill Watterson

Dad, how do soldiers killing each other solve the worlds problems?

How come we play war and not peace?Too few role models.

I think we dream so we dont have to be apart so long.

When a person pauses in mid-sentence to choose a word, thats the best time to jump in and change the subject! Its like an interception in football! You grab the others guys idea and run the opposite way with it! The more sentences you complete, the higher your score! The idea is to block the other guys thoughts and express your own! Thats how you win!Conversations arent contests!Ok, a point for you, but Im still ahead.

History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. Thats why events are always reinterpreted when values change. We need new versions of history to allow for our current prejudices.

Creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare achievement. In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive. Ambition is only understood if it’s to rise to the top of some imaginary ladder of success. Someone who takes an undemanding job because it affords him the time to pursue other interests and activities is considered a flake. A person who abandons a career in order to stay home and raise children is considered not to be living up to his potential — as if a job title and salary are the sole measure of human worth.You’ll be told in a hundred ways, some subtle and some not, to keep climbing, and never be satisfied with where you are, who you are, and what you’re doing. There are a million ways to sell yourself out, and I guarantee you’ll hear about them.To invent your own life’s meaning is not easy, but it’s still allowed, and I think you’ll be happier for the trouble.

If good things lasted forever, would we appreciate how precious they are?

They say the world is a stage. But obviously the play is unrehearsed and everybody is ad-libbing his lines.Maybe that’s why it’s hard to tell if we’re living in a tragedy or a farce.We need more special effects and dance numbers.

I wish I had more friends, but people are such jerks. If you can just get most people to leave you alone, youre doing good. If you can find even one person you really like, youre lucky. And if that person can also stand you, youre really lucky.

You know, maybe we dont need enemies.Yeah, best friends aree about all I can take.

Some people are pragmatists, taking things as they come and making the best of the choices available. Some people are idealists, standing for principle and refusing to compromise. And some people just act on any whim that enters their heads. I wonder which one YOU are. I pragmatically turn my whims into principles!

Until you stalk and overrun, you cannot devour anyone.-Hobbes

BE CAREFUL, OR BE ROADKILL!

We dont value craftsmanship anymore! All we value is ruthless efficiency, and I say we deny our own humanity that way! Without appreciation for grace and beauty, theres no pleasure in creating things and no pleasure in having them! Our lives are made drearier, rather than richer! How can a person take pride in his work when skill and care are considered luxuries! Were not machines! We have a human need for craftsmanship!

Maybe we can eventually make language a complete impediment to understanding.

Calvin: The more you know, the harder it is to take decisive action. Once you are informed, you start seeing complexities and shades of gray. You realize nothing is as clear as it first appears. Ultimately, knowledge is paralyzing. Being a man of action, I cannot afford to take that risk. Hobbes: Youre ignorant, but at least you act on it.

Cigars are all the rage, dad. You should smoke cigars! - CalvinFlatulence could be all the rage, but it would still be disgusting. - Calvins mom

Hold it. You know what Id like to see? Id like to see the three bears eat the three little pigs, and then the bears join up with the big bad wolf and eat Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood! Tell me a story like that, OK?

On gray days, when its snowing or raining, I think you should be able to call up a judge and take an oath that youll just read a good book all day, and hed allow you to stay home.

I dont think Id have been in such a hurry to reach adulthood if Id known the whole thing was going to be ad-libbed.