Quotes by Will Rogers

Lord, the money we do spend on Government and its not one bit better than the government we got for one-third the money twenty years ago.

The minute you read something that you cant understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer.

If stupidity got us in this mess, how come it cant get us out.

If stupidity got us into this, why cant stupidity get us out?

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

Even if youre on the right track youll get run over if you just sit there.

A holding company is the people you give your money to while youre being searched.

Dont gamble take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up then sell it. If it dont go up dont buy it.

The schools aint what they used to be and never was.

There is nothing so stupid as an educated man if you get off the thing that he was educated in.

Be thankful were not getting all the government were paying for.

There aint nothing but one thing wrong with every one of us and thats selfishness.

Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.

This thing of being a hero about the main thing to it is to know when to die.

Diplomacy is the art of saying nice doggie until you can find a rock.

We are all here for a spell get all the good laughs you can.

Everybody is ignorant only on different subjects.

I dont know what humor is.

It isnt what we dont know that gives us trouble its what we know that aint so.

The only thing that can stop hair from falling ... is the floor.