Quotes by Robert Orben

“A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.”

“Dont think of it as failure. Think of it as time-released success.”

“To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.”

“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If Im not there, I go to work.”

“If you can laugh together, you can work together”

“Washington is a place where politicians dont know which way is up and taxes dont know which way is down.”

“Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.”

“A compliment is verbal sunshine”

“I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.”

“Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and whats the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!”

“The early North American Indian made a great mistake by not having an immigration bureau”

“The Indian knew how to live without wants, to suffer without complaint, and to die singing”

“Vegetarian - thats an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter”

“The most common trait of all primitive peoples is a reverence for the life-giving earth, and the Native American shared this elemental ethic: The land was alive to his loving touch, and he, its son, was brother to all creatures.”

“You cant have all chiefs, youve got to have Indians too”

“Democracy means to us Indian people, I am going to steal your land”

“Humor is the sunshine of the mind”

“A lovely heart-shaped box of chocolates was received on Valentines Day by a coed from her newest date. On the enclosed card was the inscription, To Helen - with all my allowance. Love me little, love me long, is the burden of my song.”

“I got a Valentines Day card from my girl. It said, Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips! Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.”

“Never sign a Valentine with your own name.”