Quotes by Fran Lebowitz

You cant go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.

Polite conversation is rarely either.

Andy Warhol made fame more famous.

Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.

There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.

If youre going to America, bring your own food.

Youre only as good as your last haircut.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

I must take issue with the term a mere child, for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.

Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.

Life is something to do when you cant get to sleep.

Romantic love is mental illness. But its a pleasurable one. Its a drug. It distorts reality, and thats the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.

Success didnt spoil me, Ive always been insufferable.

My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores. Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.

If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, dont teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.

“There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness and death.”