Quotes by Fran Lebowitz

“Women who insist upon having the same options as men would do well to consider the option of being the strong, silent type”

“Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if hes buying.”

“There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.”

“The opposite of talking isnt listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.”

“When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.”

“You can say any foolish thing to do to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, My God, youre right! I never wouldve thought of that!”

“Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.”

“If you read a lot, nothing is as great as youve imagined. Venice is -- Venice is better.”

“I told you I was sick....”

Life is something that happens when you cant get to sleep.

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Think before you speak. Read before you think.

There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness and death.

If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.

The best fame is a writers fame. Its enough to get a table at a good restaurant, but not enough to get you interrupted when you eat.

Magazines all too frequently lead to books and should be regarded by the prudent as the heavy petting of literature.

All the time Im not writing I feel like a criminal. Its horrible to feel felonious every second of the day. Its much more relaxing to actually write.

Theres no equivalent to Mozart in writing.

I prefer dead writers because you dont run into them at parties.

Reading is better than life. Without reading, you’re stuck with life.