Quotes by Bill Hicks

“I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.”

“Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I dont know one child with a full time job and children.”

“People are bringing shotguns to UFO sightings in Fife, Alabama. I asked a guy, Why do you bring a gun to a UFO sighting? Guy said, Way-ul, we didn wanna be ab-duc-ted. If I lived in Fife, Alabama, I would be on my hands and knees every night praying for abduction.”

“Your denial is beneath you, and thanks to the use of hallucinogenic drugs, I see through you.”

“Does anyone here work in advertising or marketing? Well if you do, when you get home take a gun shoot yourself. No bullshit, Im not joking just do it. Im just sowing seeds, one day they may take root.”

“This is it, folks. This is the idea which has kept me virtually unknown for the past 16 years. I have watched my crowds dwindle. I am going nowhere, and nowhere quick, but, those of you who have children, I am sorry to tell you this, but they are not special. Wait! I know some of you are going what, what? Let me just clarify: I know YOU think theyre special ... ha ha ha! Im aware of that. Im just here to tell you, that theyre NOT! Ha ha ha ha! Sorry. Did you know that every time a guy comes he comes two-hundred million sperm? One out of TWO-HUNDRED MILLION – that load, were only talking about one load – connected: gee, what are the fucking odds? Do you know what that means? Ive wiped nations offve my chest with a grey gymsock. ENTIRE CIVILISATIONS HAVE FLAKED AND CRUSTED IN THE HAIR AROUND MY NAVEL! [...] Ive tossed universes in my underpants while napping. Boom! A Milkyway shoots into my jockeyshorts: Unngh ... whats for fucking breakfast?!”

“Are there moths on the way to the sun right now going, Its gonna be worth it!?”

“Nazis are for the New Age concern”

“I dont want to know. I dont need it. I dont want the information that millions of people have. I dont want to be fed these boring facts and figures. Then youll become one of the masses. Id rather starve my mind a bit and have to search out nutrition in stranger places.”

“The streets lie, the sidewalks lie, everything lies You can try and read it but youre gonna get it wrong...all wrong The summer evenings burn and melt and the nights glitter but youre gonna get it wrong And its gonna sink its teeth into your flesh and pull you to the bottom.”

“Im not a girl, Im a guy you know? But at the same time, I tell ya how you can solve this abortion issue right now. Ready? Those unwanted babies that single moms leave in alleys and in dumpsters? Leave about 12 of those on the steps of The Supreme Court. This is over. Like that. You guys said we had to have them? Then you guys...F***ING RAISE EM. Raise em then, you f***ing raise em. YOU raise em. You said I had to have it? Then its yours. F**k. Its yours..Take it.”

The whole image is that eternal suffering awaits anyone who questions Gods infinite love. Thats the message were brought up with, isnt it? Believe or die! Thank you, forgiving Lord, for all those options.

Oh sorry, I was taking life seriously.

They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When youre high, you can do everything you normally do just as well — you just realize that its not worth the fucking effort. There is a difference.

Im tired of this back-slappin isnt humanity neat bullshit. Were a virus with shoes.

Im glad mushrooms are against the law, because I took them one time, and you know what happened to me? I laid in a field of green grass for four hours going, My God! I love everything. Yeah, now if that isnt a hazard to our country … how are we gonna justify arms dealing when we realize that were all one?

I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.

We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free.

Folks, its time to evolve. Thats why were troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everythings failing? Its because, um – theyre no longer relevant. Were supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?

Go back to bed, America. Your government has figured out how it all transpired. Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control again. Here. Heres American Gladiators. Watch this, shut up. Go back to bed, America. Here is American Gladiators. Here is 56 channels of it! Watch these pituitary retards bang their fucking skulls together and congratulate you on living in the land of freedom. Here you go, America! You are free to do what we tell you! You are free to do what we tell you!