Quotes by Andy Rooney

Death is a distant rumor to the young.

Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.

I dont like food thats too carefully arranged it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture Id buy a painting.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, theres a 90% probability youll get it wrong.

People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.

The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing - the opening a wonderfully joyous moment.

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.

“Its paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesnt appeal to anyone.”

“Ive learned .... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.”

“Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while youre climbing it.”