Quotes by Ambrose Bierce

“Insurance: An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.”

“Genius - To know without having learned; to draw just conclusions from unknown premises; to discern the soul of things.”

“CURIOSITY, n. An objectionable quality of the female mind. The desire to know whether or not a woman is cursed with curiosity is one of the most active and insatiable passions of the masculine soul.”

“Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.”

“Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.”

“RUM, n. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.”

“Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.”

“Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.”

“Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.”

“All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.”

“IDLENESS, n. A model farm where the devil experiments with seeds of new sins and promotes the growth of staple vices.”

“LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.”

“JEALOUS, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.”

“ACCUSE, v.t. To affirm anothers guilt or unworth; most commonly as a justification of ourselves for having wronged him.”

“FRIENDLESS, adj. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense.”

“EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our neighbors.”

“DISOBEDIENCE, n. The silver lining to the cloud of servitude.”

“NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.”

“ACHIEVEMENT, n. The death of endeavor and the birth of disgust.”

“REFLECTION, n. An action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter.”