Quotes by W. S. Gilbert

Did nothing in particular And did it very well.

Things are seldom what they seem Skim milk masquerades as cream.

Of that there is no manner of doubt - No probable possible shadow of doubt - No possible doubt whatever.

He did nothing in particular And did it very well.

For he might have been a Rooshian A French or Turk or Proosian Or perhaps Italian. But in spite of all temptations To belong to other nations He remains an Englishman.

See how the Fates their gifts allot. For A is happy - B is not. Yet B is worthy I dare say Of more prosperity than A.

Darwinian Man though well-behaved At best is only a monkey shaved!

Did nothing in particular and did it very well.

As innocent as a new-laid egg.

And whether youre an honest man or whether youre a thief depends on whose solicitor has given me my brief.

A source of innocent merriment! Of innocent merriment.

Oh I am a cook and a captain bold And the mate of the Nancy brig And a bosun tight and a midshipmate And the crew of the captains gig.

Now landsmen all whoever you may be If you want to rise to the top of the tree. If your soul isnt fettered to an office stool Be careful to be guided by this golden rule - Stick close to your desks and never go to to sea And you may all be Rulers of the Queens Navee.

Youve no idea what a poor opinion I have of myself - and how little I deserve it.

I am not fond of uttering platitudes In stained-glass attitudes.

When every blessed thing you have is made of silver or of gold you long for simple pewter.

I always voted at my partys call And I never thought of thinking for myself at all.

You must stir it and stump it and blow your own trumpet or trust me you havent a chance.

My object all sublime I shall achieve in time - To let the punishment fit the crime.

And so do his sisters and his cousins and his aunts! His sisters and his cousins Whom he reckons up by dozens And his aunts!