Quotes by Terry Pratchett

If there was anything that depressed him more than his own cynicism, it was that quite often it still wasnt as cynical as real life.

This isnt life in the fast lane, its life in the oncoming traffic.

YOU FEAR TO DIE?Its not that I dont want... I mean, Ive always...its just that life is a habit thats hard to break...

Perhaps it would be simpler if you just did what youre told and didnt try to understand things.

Progress just means bad things happen faster.

Id rather be a rising ape than a falling angel.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

Give a man a fire and hes warm for a day, but set fire to him and hes warm for the rest of his life.

Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH, the paint wouldnt even have time to dry.

Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.

Time is a drug. Too much of it kills you.

In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.

DONT THINK OF IT AS DYING, said Death. JUST THINK OF IT AS LEAVING EARLY TO AVOID THE RUSH.

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.

No! Please! Ill tell you whatever you want to know! the man yelled. Really? said Vimes. Whats the orbital velocity of the moon?What?Oh, youd like something simpler?

It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever, he said. Have you thought of going into teaching?

Hed been wrong, there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and it was a flamethrower.

Death: THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL, ALBERT.Albert: Oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them.

Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a treeful of monkeys on nitrous oxide.

The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who think theyve found it.