Quotes by Terry Pratchett

“It was already growling, and the growl was a low, rumbling snarl of spring-coiled menace, the sort of growl that starts in the back of one throat and ends up in someone elses.”

“You stay here. Ill whistle if its safe to follow me.What will you do if it isnt safe?Scream.”

“Gravity is a habit that is hard to shake off.”

“Sooner or later were all someones dog”

“People who are rather more than six feet tall and nearly as broad across the shoulders often have uneventful journeys. People jump out at them from behind rocks then say things like, Oh. Sorry. I thought you were someone else.”

“Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant idiot.”

“Why does everyone run toward a blood curdling scream? mumbled the Senior Wrangler. It is contrary to all sense.”

“Do you need an excuse to have a war? I mean, who for? Cant you just say You got lots of cash and land, but Ive got a big sword, so divy up right now, chop chop”

“He moved in a way that suggested he was attempting the world speed record for the nonchalant walk”

“An ancient proverb summed it up: when a wizard is tired of looking for broken glass in his dinner, it ran, he is tired of life.”

“But of course, what the eagle does not realize is that it is participating in a very crude form of natural selection.One day a tortoise will learn how to fly.”

“In some parts of the city, curiosity didnt just kill the cat, it threw it in the river with lead weights tied to its feet.”

“What do you call those things you find at the bottom of rivers? Frogs? Stones? Unsuccessful Gangsters?”

“Of course Im sane, when trees start talking to me, I dont talk back.”

“It wasnt blood in general he couldnt stand the sight of, it was just his blood in particular that was so upsetting.”

“If youre going to suggest I try dropping twenty feet down a pitch dark tower in the hope of hitting a couple of greasy little steps which might not even still be there, you can forget it, said Rincewind sharply. There is an alternative, then.Out with it, man.You could drop five hundred feet down a pitch black tower and hit stones which certainly are there, said Twoflower. Dead silence from below him. Then Rincewind said, accusingly, That was sarcasm.”

“The Quantum Weather Butterfly ( Papilio Tempestae ) is an undistinguished yellow color, its outstanding feature is its ability to create weather. This presumably began as a survival trait, since even an extremely hungry bird would find itself inconvenienced by a nasty localized tornado ( usually about 6 inches across ). From there it possibly became a secondary sexual characteristic, like the plumage of birds. Look at *me*, the male says, flapping his wings lazily in the canopy of the rain forest. I may be an undistinguished yellow color but in a fortnights time, a thousand miles away, Freak Gales Cause Road Chaos. This is the butterfly of the storm”

“Im going out of my mind, ( mind speaks ) Good idea, its getting pretty crowded in here...”

“He was determined to discover the underlying logic behind the universe- which was going to be hard, because there wasnt one.”

“Why are you so scared? Because I just saw the whole of my future life, and it didnt take very long.”