Quotes by Susan C. Young

When you see people smiling, does it give you a sense of connection with them? The law of reciprocity illustrates it is hard to not smile back when someone smiles at you.

Whether you smile to make a great first impression for customer service, building rapport, communicating your intentions, networking, sharing your happiness, closing deals, or demonstrating you are fully present and engaged, smiling is the key to your success.

Smiling Bloopers• Insincere smiling can backfire! (Different from a shy smile that just beckons a friendly hello.)• Transitioning from a smile to a straight face, too quickly, may give others the impression that you are fake or do not like them.• Going overboard and smiling all the time, especially when it is inappropriate, will make you appear insincere.• If your mouth smiles, but your eyes don’t, there is a disconnect that can make you appear less authentic and trustworthy.

Trying to engage with an unapproachable person can lead to embarrassment, alienation, and resistance. Why would we set ourselves up for that kind of pain and failure? It’s no wonder that people may avoid them—the risk of rejection is too great.

There are new habits you can adopt starting NOW that make you approachable and encourage other people to engage with you.

The approachable individuals are the first ones that I introduce myself to because they make me feel emotionally safe.

Approachable people . . . 1. Use body language to their advantage.2. Are open-minded to new people and new experiences.3. Encourage others to feel better about themselves.4. Are willing to be told not what they want to hear, but what they need to hear.5. Provide an inviting aura that is warm and comforting.6. Realize that authenticity and transparency earn trust.7. Intuitively tune into the feelings and needs of others.8. Are emotionally steady and respond appropriately when they sense awkwardness or discomfort in others.9. Radiate happiness and curbs cynicism. 10. Provide a safe environment for others to express themselves.11. Make others feel valued and appreciated.12. Listen and consider other people’s viewpoints and opinions.

Mirroring is a powerful neuro-linguistic programming technique that can be used to bond with others, build rapport, and reach mutual understanding more quickly. You may already be using it instinctively without even being aware.

Mirroring is simply the process of discreetly matching and mirroring the subtle behaviors and qualities of the person with whom you are connecting. Its a form of behavioral reflection that unconsciously reveals, Were more alike than we are different.

Mirroring is especially helpful when our differences may divide. Think of the times when you have made a diligent effort to speak in another person’s native language to communicate and connect with comfort. By doing this, you are extending a considerate courtesy to meet them where they are, thus removing barriers and improving engagement.

Coordinating your gestures with someone’s subtle behaviors, can help you gain understanding, realize comfortable compatibility, and develop mutual trust.

Why Does Mirroring Work? Scientific research suggests ‘mirroring’ techniques works because of the mirror-neurons which are fired in our brains when we both perceive and take action. When we observe someone doing something, we may feel as if we are having the same experience.

When you see someone smile, does it naturally make you want to smile back? When you are irritable, do you find that people mirror your irritability? When someone yawns around you, do automatically do the same? When you hear someone celebrating, do you feel inclined to join in and celebrate too? Your responses are not forced, but instinctual and empathetic.

Mirroring provides social cues through body language and behavior which enable us to develop more empathy and understanding for others.

Who are we the most comfortable with? People who are the most like us! The “Similarity-Attraction Hypothesis” (Newcomb, 1956) found that similar (real or perceived) personalities are a major determinant of our likability and friendship choices. It is simply human to gravitate toward people like us. This tribal inclination runs the gamut across demographics of age, ethnicity, culture, education, religion, and even personality style. Mirroring will enable you to find ways to create the comfort of familiarity through similarity.

Since we know people like to do business with people who are most like themselves, consider this: Excellent sales people understand that matching and mirroring another person’s body language is a powerful technique and subliminal way to develop trust, build rapport, and make their clients more comfortable and engaging. Subtly mirroring the postures, gestures, and body language of your client inspires a kinship of commonality.

Early in my sales career, various sales trainers taught our teams how to use matching and mirroring to build rapport and earn trust with our clients. When done well, it would inevitably help us improve customer service and closing ratios. It was not encouraged as a deceptive sales practice to manipulate, but rather a subtle way to make a great first impression and connect on a meaningful level.

By mirroring, speaking, and moving in tandem with my clients, I provided them with a sense of familiar comfort and ease which helped us work well together. When they leaned forward, I would lean forward. When they crossed their arms, I would cross my arms. When they began speaking slowly and quietly, I would do the same. These subtle actions help to us to communicate more effectively.

Becoming aware of what you are doing and how others perceive you will provide you with instant insight for making changes where necessary.

Whatever you are putting out into the universe is going to be returned unto you and have a direct correlation to what you are getting back. In many ways, you are a magnet and manifest accordingly.