Quotes by Susan C. Young

Most people are familiar with the rich, resonant tones of James Earl Jones and Morgan Freeman. Their signature voices bring strength, authority, and lyrical enjoyment. Are there aspects of your voice that you can capitalize on to make a great impression and be simply unforgettable?

Think of the times that others remembered your name and used it kindly. How did it make you feel? When you use someone’s name it makes him or her feel recognized, appreciated, and special.

A Sign of Respect. As our world grows more casual, we observe a tendency for everyone to use first names rather than surnames. “It is a pleasure meeting you, Mrs. Young,” has a completely different connotation than “Nice to meet you, Susan.

What determines whether the usage is acceptable or inappropriate? If you want to make a great first impression with positive impact, it is essential that you know there is a difference.

Using titles such as Mr., Mrs., Miss, Dr., etc. demonstrates respect. In previous generations, it was a social necessity and simply good manners. One would consider you rude and uncultured if you were so presumptuous as to go straight to a “first name basis.” First names can imply an intimacy that does not exist and it may offend a new person until they know you better. Be wary of making assumptions.

I was raised in an era when part of respecting your elders was to call them by Mr. or Mrs. When my children were growing up, an occasional child would call me Susan. It was jarring, felt disrespectful, and I did not like it. We reached a mutual agreement and their friends began calling me Ms. Susan. Perhaps this is more prevalent in the South, however, your awareness and consideration can help prevent social missteps.

It is wise to use titles for people in positions of power, higher education, seniority, or maturity, unless otherwise instructed. This may sound old-fashioned, but practicing respectful traditions will earn you points and inevitably make you seem more cultured and sophisticated. This is especially true with older generations.

To call certain people, such as your boss, teachers, professors, doctors, your parent’s friends, etc. by their first names might be considered disrespectful. It is best to err on the side of caution until you know what is appropriate.

Asking permission to call someone by their first name is a gesture of gentility and consideration. And once permission is granted, the gate is open for mutual respect and mutual purpose. Simply demonstrating this courtesy before making an assumption is impressive. Once permission is granted, you have earned points on both sides.

Make It Fun. Have you ever been publicly acknowledged or called upon in a room filled with people? Depending on your personality type, it can be either exhilarating or mortifying. It certainly does grab your attention, as well as everyone else’s!

When I am working with groups of thirty or fewer people, there is a powerful name exercise that I do to break the ice, start with humor, and begin my program with positive energy. One by one, each person will introduce themselves using an adjective that describes their personality that starts with the first letter of their name. “Spontaneous Susan,” “Dependable Dave,” and “Happy Helen” are a few quick examples. The benefit for the participants is twofold: it makes each person feel good and it makes people laugh. Additionally, it enables me to learn their names so that I can integrate them into the entire presentation for full engagement and participation.

Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name, and theyre always glad you came. You wanna be where you can see, our troubles are all the same. You wanna be where everybody knows your name.

UN-Impressives of the Poor Listener• Thinking about what you should have done, could have done, or need to do. • Allowing your emotional reactions to take over.• Interrupting the person talking.• Replying before you hear all the facts.• Jumping to conclusions and making assumptions.• Being preoccupied with what youre going to say next. • Getting defensive or being over-eager. • One-upmanship—feeling the urge to compete and add something bigger, better, or more significant than what the speaker has to share.• Imposing an unsolicited opinion.• Ignoring and changing the subject altogether.

Being PresentYears ago, I attended a conference where the keynote speaker encouraged everyone to BE HERE NOW! It grabbed peoples attention and reminded us that living, loving, listening, and laughing all occur in the present moment.

Active listening requires being fully present and engaged in the moment.

When you are mindfully focused, the person with whom you are communicating feels that you are making them a priority—that you value their time and their perspective. It is in these moments that we can go to deeper levels of discovery, exploration, and connection. It is one of the most valuable gifts and finest compliments you can give to another.

To Become an Attentive Listener . . . • Observe a person’s physical presence to see how their body language aligns with their message. • Recognize what is being said on the surface.• Engage your intuition to hear the meaning, purpose, and motivation behind their message. • Be aware of your own internal responses and how you are feeling.• Put yourself in their shoes to better understand their perspective.

Become keenly aware of these three layers to discover whether youre listening with interest and intent for excellent communication and understanding—or are you unintentionally sabotaging potentially phenomenal conversations. Knowledge of the listening planes will raise your awareness. And as you apply these, enjoy the surprising difference.

Becoming an empathetic listener helps you to better understand how another person feels and why they communicate as they do.

Your heightened awareness of their perceptions, experiences, emotions, and personality styles can reveal why they feel the way they do so that you can choose your responses wisely and compassionately.