Quotes by Scott Adams

“Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company”

“Im slowly becoming a convert to the principle that you cant motivate people to do things, you can only demotivate them. The primary job of the manager is not to empower but to remove obstacles.”

“Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.”

“I get mail; therefore I am.”

“You dont have to be a person of influence to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things theyve taught me.”

“Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.”

“Normal people ... believe that if it aint broke, dont fix it. Engineers believe that if it aint broke, it doesnt have enough features yet.”

“The Dilbert Principle: People are idiots.”

“In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldnt have to ride around with jerks.”

“Theres nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.”

“Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.”

“I believe everyody in the world should have guns. Citizens should have bazookas and rocket launchers too. I believe that all citizens should have their weapons of choice. However, I also believe that only I should have the ammunition. Because frankly, I wouldnt trust the rest of the goobers with anything more dangerous than string.”

“There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives”

“I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination”

“The best things in life are silly”

“. . . remember, guns dont kill people -- unless you practice real hard.”

“Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.”

“Technology: No Place for Wimps!”

“Technology does not run an enterprise, relationships do”

“And bring me a hard copy of the Internet so I can do some serious surfing”