Quotes by Mindy Kaling

I simply regard romantic comedies as a subgenre of sci-fi, in which the world created therein has different rules than my regular human world.

If someone called me chubby, it would no longer be something that kept me up late at night. Being called fat is not like being called stupid or unfunny, which is the worst thing you could ever say to me. Do I envy Jennifer Hudson for being able to lose all that weight and look smokin’ hot? Of course, yes. Do I sometimes look at Gisele Bundchen and wonder how awesome life would be if I never had to wear Spanx? Duh, of course. That’s kind of the point of Gisele Bundchen. And maybe I will, once or twice, for a very short period of time. But on the list of things I want to do in my lifetime, that’s not near the top. I mean, it’s not near the bottom either. I’d say it’s right above “Learn to drive a vespa,” but several notches below “film a chase scene for a movie.

If I can give one bit of advice to any drama major, high school theater kid, or inmate who is reading this in a prison library with dreams of being cast in he prison play, its this: write your own part. It is the only way Ive gotten anywhere. It is much harder work, but sometimes you ave to take destiny into your own hands.

I think when men hear that women want a commitment, they think it means commitment to a romantic relationship, but thats not it. Its a commitment to not floating around anywhere. I want a guy who is entrenched in his own life.

..I find it incredible impossible not to cry when I hear Stevie Nickss Landslide, especially the lyric: Ive been afraid of changing, because Ive built my life around you. I think a good test to see if a human is actually a robot/android/cylon is to have them listen to this song lyric and study their reaction. If they dont cry, you should stab them through the heart. You will find a fusebox.

Thats what Ive noticed about being 32: it is a lot of women and a lot of boys our age.

One friend with whom you have a lot in common is better than three with whom you struggle to find things to talk about.

Nothing gives you confidence like being a member of a small, weirdly specific, hard-to-find demographic.

There was just Mavis and me, but it never seemed lonely because we never stopped talking. I could have an argument, in earnest, about who was the best “Kid” in the Hall, without having to explain who they were. One friend with whom you have a lot in common is better than three with whom you struggle to find things to talk about. We never needed best friend gear because I guess with real friends you don’t have to make it official. It just is.

One very gratifying compliment I sometimes hear is that women want to be my best friend. This endlessly amuses my actual best friend, Jocelyn, because in her estimation I’m a good friend, but not that great.

If you believe in yourself and work hard, your dreams will come true

If you believe in yourself and work hard, your dreams will come

There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.

There was no whimsical ‘sip of wine at Thanksgiving’ for us kids while we were still teenagers. This was the Clinton era, and my parents were already worried about the moral deterioration of the country.

...you need the tiniest bit of bravery. People get scared when you try to do something, especially when it looks like youre succeeding. People do not get scared when you are failing. It calms them. Thats why the show Intervention is a hit and everyone loves worrying about Amanda Bynes.

I especially like eavesdropping on women my age. Besides being titillating, it also helps me gauge where Im at in comparison.

I dont want to hear about the endless struggles to keep sex exciting, or the work it takes to plan a date night. I want to hear that you guys watch every episode of The Bachelorette together in secret shame, or that one got the other hooked on Breaking Bad and if either watches it without the other, theyre dead meat. I want to see you guys high-five each other like teammates on a recreational softball team you both do for fun.

Later, when youre grown up, you realize you never really get to hang out with your family. You pretty much have only eighteen years to spend with them full time, and thats it.

Why didnt you talk about whether women are funny or not?I just felt that by commenting on that in any real way, it would be tacit approval of it as a legitimate debate, which it isnt. It would be the same as addressing the issue of Should dogs and cats be able to care for our children? Theyre in the house anyway. I try not to make it a habit to seriously discuss nonsensical hot-button issues.

If youve got it, flaunt it. And if you dont got it? Flaunt it. Cause what are we even doing here if were not flaunting it?