Quotes by Lemony Snicket

In an emergency, one often learns that ones companions can be of even less help in extraordinary circumstances than they are during an average evening.

People who think nothing can go wrong are usually disappointed.

When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them.

...The sea... some have said is nothing but a library of all the tears in history.

Tears are curious things, for like earthquakes or puppet shows they can occur at any time, without any warning and without any good reason.

Sunny held Kit, and Violet held Klaus, and for a minute the four castaways did nothing but weep, letting their tears run down their faces and into the sea, which some have said is nothing but a library of all tears in history.

I will love you as an oven loves malfunctioning in the middle of roasting a turkey.

Read about things that wouldnt keep you up all night long, weeping and tearing out your hair.

I like a story that could never happen to me. If I want real life Ill read a newspaper.

Wishing, like sipping a glass of punch, or pulling aside a bearskin rug in order to access a hidden trapdoor in the floor, is merely a quiet way to spend ones time before the candles are extinguished on ones birthday cake.

He looked like the sort of person who would tell you that he did not have an umbrella to lend you when he actually had several and simply wanted to see you get soaked.

Miracles are like pimples, because once you start looking for them you find more than you ever dreamed youd see.

Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they come from, or how often they should appear. Some people say that a sunrise is a miracle, because it is somewhat mysterious and often very beautiful, but other people say it is simply a fact of life, because it happens every day and far too early in the morning. Some people say that a telephone is a miracle, because it sometimes seems wondrous that you can talk with somebody who is thousands of miles away, and other people say it is merely a manufactured device fashioned out of metal parts, electronic circuitry, and wires that are very easily cut. And some people say that sneaking out of a hotel is a miracle, particularly if the lobby is swarming with policemen, and other people say it is simply a fact of life, because it happens every day and far too early in the morning. So you might think that there are so many miracles in the world that you can scarcely count them, or that there are so few that they are scarcely worth mentioning, depending on whether you spend your mornings gazing at a beautiful sunset or lowering yourself into a back alley with a rope made of matching towels.

The sky was dark blue twilight, pretty to look at but lonely to walk under.

With a library it is easier to hope for serendipity than to look for a precise answer.

The truth is that you can never be sure if you have decided on the right thing until the party is over, and by then it is too late to go back and change your mind, which is why the world is filled with people doing terrible things

Other people think destiny is a time in ones life, such as the moment one becomes an adult, or the instant it becomes necessary to construct a hiding place out of sofa cushions. And still other people think that destiny is an invisible force, like gravity, or a fear of paper cuts, that guide everyone throughout their lives, whether they are embarking on a mysterious errand, doing a treacherous deed, or deciding that a book they have begun reading is too dreadful to finish,

An Overall Feeling of Doom that One Cannot Ever Escape no Matter What One Does

...There are almost as many kinds of libraries as there are kinds of readers.

You cannot have a really terrific library without at least one terrific librarian, the way you cannot have a really terrific bedroom unless you can lock the door.