Quotes by Joseph Heller

“Frankly, Id like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry.”

“The enemy is anybody whos going to get you killed, no matter which side hes on.”

“He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.”

“He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.”

“Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them.”

“I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.”

“There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for ones own safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind.”

“Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.”

“When I read something saying Ive not done anything as good as Catch-22 Im tempted to reply, Who has?”

“My drawings have been described as pre-intentionalist, meaning that they were finished before the ideas for them had occurred to me. I shall not argue the point.”

“When I grow up I want to be a little boy.”

“Destiny is a good thing to accept when its going your way. When it isnt, dont call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.”

“As one of your writers said, There are three kinds of lies: a small lie, a big lie and politics.”

“Good writers define reality; bad ones merely restate it. A good writer turns fact into truth; a bad writer will, more often than not, accomplish the opposite.”

“I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.”

I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.

Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.

There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for ones safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didnt, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didnt have to; but if he didnt want to he was sane and had to. Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle.Thats some catch, that Catch-22, he observed.Its the best there is, Doc Daneeka agreed.

Why are they going to disappear him?I dont know.It doesnt make sense. It isnt even good grammar.

So many things were testing his faith. There was the Bible, of course, but the Bible was a book, and so were Bleak House, Treasure Island, Ethan Frome and The Last of the Mohicans. Did it then seem probable, as he had once overheard Dunbar ask, that the answers to riddles of creation would be supplied by people too ignorant to understand the mechanics of rainfall? Had Almighty God, in all His infinite wisdom, really been afraid that men six thousand years ago would succeed in building a tower to heaven?