Its important to be comfortable with uncertainty.
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About time, what I really learned from studying English is: time is different with timing.I understand the difference of these two words so well. I understand falling in love with the right person in the wrong timing could be the greatest sadness in a persons entire life.
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But why people need privacy? Why privacy is important? In China, every family live together, grandparents, parents, daughter, son and their relatives too. Eat together and share everything, talk about everything. Privacy make people lonely. Privacy make family fallen apart.
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Its the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance.
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Reds world, you see, is a closed circle. Not that it matters. I know that Im a closed circle, too, and its all I can do to find some starting point from myself, while at the same time trying to find my own terminus. Theres no way Im ever going to find my beginning or end in somebody elses circle. Two people together never add up to anything more than one person added to another. That we continue to add ourselves up in this way is the reason human beings will always be lonely.
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The loneliness comes to me in certain hours everyday, like a visitor. Like a friend you never expected, a friend you never really want to be with, but he always visit you and love you somehow,
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Then he asked my age and I asked his. Thats the tradition in China. If we know each others ages we can understand each others past. We Chinese have been collective for so long, personal histories are not worth mentioning. Therefore as soon as Xiaolin and I knew how old the other was, we knew exactly what big shit had happened in our lives. The introduction of the One Child Policy shortly before out births, for instance and the fact that, in 1985, two pandas were sent to the USA as a national gift and we had to sing a tearful panda song at school. 1989 was the Tiananmen Square student demonstration. Anyway, Xiaolin was one year younger than me, so I assumed we were from the same generation.
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Everyone tries to be an optimist. But being an optimist is a bit boring and not honest. Losers are more interesting than winners.
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Huizi would say, never look back to the past. Never regret. Even if there is emptiness ahead, never look back.
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