Quotes by Wendy Liebman

“I go running when I have to. When the ice cream truck is doing sixty.”

Im a writer. I write checks. Mostly fiction.

I found out why cats drink out of the toilet. My mother told me its because its cold in there. And Im like: How did my mother know that?

Im a writer. I write checks. Theyre not very good.

I think there have always been funny women, from Carol Burnett to Joan Rivers. When the audience sees a woman, they innately know shes worked twice as hard to get there, shes had to prove that she can be the leader, first, and then be funny on top of it. She has to emit a confidence that shes in control.

I dont think I was funny until college. I lived with some Harvard MD/PhD students - they were so smart, and what I contributed to the house was, I was the funny one.

My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.

Is there a doctor in the house? My parents want me to marry you.

Ive been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.