Quotes by Victor Borge

“If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, thats my reward.”

“I only know two pieces; one is Clair de Lune and the other one isnt”

“Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year”

“I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible...and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.”

“The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.”

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

The shortest distance between two people is a smile.

One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didnt have a fireplace.

I normally dont do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.

(Referring to the pianos natural shape) Isnt it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them?

Humor is something that thrives between mans aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.

(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?

Id like to thank my parents for making this night possible. And my children for making it necessary.

Flint must be an extremely wealthy town I see that each of you bought two or three seats.

Laughter is the closest distance between two people.

Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.

My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.