The person you became with her is worth being.
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Yeah, sometimes life really sucks, she says. But you know what Im holding on for?I raise my eyebrows.She raises hers, too, mimicking me.The moments that dont suck, she says. The trick is to notice them when they come around.
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Dead people can be our heroes because they cant disappoint us later; they only improve over time, as we forget more and more about them.
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I pull my foot back again, but Fours hands clamp around my arms, and he pulls me away from her with irresistible force. I breathe through gritted teeth, staring at Mollys blood-covered face, the color deep and rich and beautiful, in a way. She groans, and I hear a gurgling in her throat, watch blood trickle from her lips. You won, Four mutters. Stop. I wipe the sweat from my forehead. He stares at me. His eyes too wide; they look alarmed. I think you should leave, he says. Take a walk. Im fine, I say. Im fine now, I say again, this time for myself.I wish I could say I felt guilty for what I did.I dont.
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Because inside me is a beast that snarls, and growls, and strains toward freedom.. and as hard as I try, I cannot kill it.
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Since I was young, I have always known this: Life damages us, every one. We can’t escape that damage. But now, I am also learning this: We can be mended. We mend each other
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Weve all started to put down the virtues of the other factions in the process of bolstering our own. I dont want to do that. I want to be brave, and selfless, and smart, and kind, and honest. He clears his throat. I continually struggle with kindness.
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What did you do?” I mumble. He is just a few feet away from me now, but not close enough to hear me. As he passes me he stretches out his hand. He wraps it around my palm and squeezes. Squeezes, then lets go. His eyes are bloodshot; he is pale. “What did you do?” This time the question tears from my throat like a growl. I throw myself toward him, struggling against Peter’s grip, though his hands chafe. “What did you do?” I scream. “You die, I die too” Tobias looks over his shoulder at me. “I asked you not to do this. You made your decision. These are the repercussions.
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To me, when someone wrongs you, you both share the burden of that wrongdoing - the pain of it weighs on both of you. Forgiveness, then, means choosing to bear the full weight all by yourself. Calebs betrayal is something we both carry, and since he did it, all Ive wanted is for him to take its weight away from me. I am not sure that Im capable of shouldering it all myself - not sure that I am strong enough, or good enough.
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Writing means not just staring ugliness in the face, but finding a way to embrace it.
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Moths, repeats Will. Youre afraid of moths? Not just a cloud of moths, she says, like...a swarm of them. Everywhere. All those wings and legs and... She shudders and shakes her head.Terrifying, Will says with mock seriousness. Thats my girl. Tough as cotton balls.Oh, Shut up.
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Can you be a girl for a few seconds?Im always a girl I frown.You know what I mean. Like a silly, annoying girlI twirl my hair around my finger. Kay.
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Four flips the gun in this hand, presses the barrel to Peters forehead, and clicks a bullet into place. Peter freezes with his lips parted, the yawn dead in his mouth. Wake. Up, Four snaps. You are holding a loaded gun, you idiot. Act like it.
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What is it with you today?” says Christina on the way to breakfast. Her eyes are stillswollen from sleep and her tangled hair forms a fuzzy halo around her face.“Oh, you know,” I say. “Sun shining. Birds chirping.”She raises an eyebrow at me, as if reminding me that we are in an undergroundtunnel.
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We could visit him, suggests Will. But what would we say? I didnt know you that well, but Im sorry you got stabbed in the eye?
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I didnt know that idiocy caused people to just start spontaneously bleeding from the nose.
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Leaving us with Eric is like hiring a babysitter who spends his time sharpening knives.
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What do you think theyre going to do to us when they find us guilty? she says after a few minutes of silence have passed.Honestly?Does now seem like the time for honesty?I look at her from the corner of my eye. I think theyre going to force us to eat lots of cake and then take an unreasonably long nap.
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You don’t believe things because they make your life better, you believe them because they’re true.
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She has been to the compound before. She remembered this hallway. She knows about the initiation process. My mother was Dauntless.
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