Quotes by Tom Holt

After all, what else is scientific enquiry of any sort other than a controlled version of banging ones head against the universe until something gives?

Necessity is the mother of invention, which probably explains why invention’s father left home on the pretext of buying a newspaper and hasn’t been heard of since.

When youre about to die, your whole lifes supposed to flash before your eyes. When you fall in true love, on the other hand, what you see in the twinkling of an eye is your entire future.

He believes it’s time to redesign Evil from the ground up; to face the challenges and opportunities of a diverse, rapidly changing society.“He’s thinking of calling it,” said Miss Gold, “New Evil.

Mr Winckler clapped his hands together. “Evil, as personified by me. Meet the new Dark Lord. But you can call me Albert.

There comes a time when a man must stand up and do what he knows is Wrong.

Telling lies is a bit like tiling bathrooms - if you dont know how to do it properly, its best not to try.

You mean its to be peace between you and Elizabeth until after the Tapestry? cried Georgie, horrified. The prospect of a cessation of hostilities was appalling, for this warfare provided him with the excitement that no other occupation could hope to offer. Isnt that a bit drastic?

After all, why be right when you can be happy.

Realism without naturalism... is a leading motif in Modern Art. There is a move away from the struggle to perfect the reflection of Nature in Arts mirror, which I attribute to the all-pervading effects of photography...You must serve the tradition without being its slave. Remember you are an artist, not a draughtsman.

Most thoughtful,...[he said] politely. This cheerfulness was ambiguous, Had she determined to ignore ...[the] coup entirely--an established tactic, most irritating to the innovator but hard to sustain over long periods of time--or had she already evolved her counter-strategy?

How careless of me! By which she meant that she had deduced that he had found [them] in his pocket and pitied him for needing to be forever in the right.

There are few moments of clarity more profound than those that follow the emptying of an overcharged bladder. The world slows down, the focus sharpens, the brain comes back on line. Huge nebulous difficulties prove on close calm examination to be merely cloud giants.

{She] laughed so that the street seemed full of little silver bells,

Love is an optical illusion that makes you believe the object of your affection is the most beautiful person in the world.

If the Good Lord had intended us to crawl, hed have given us a hundred legs and an exosqueleton.

He turned and gave the Dark Elf a nasty look. “They can do that,” he said, “mess with your head, using arcane mind control techniques. Well-known fact.”The Dark Elf sniggered. “I wish,” he said. “Sadly, no. You’re thinking of journalism, which is slightly different.

As the Athenians to the Pnyx, the antique Romans to the Campus Martius, or our Nordic ancestors to the All-Thing, so the folk of Tilling flocked to the High Street for extempore parliament.

...[She] was not nearly so intrusive. If she happened to observe the comings and goings of her friends out of the corner of her eye (which she could hardly fail to do, given the nature of her favorite sitting-place) and chanced to be able to remember when she had seen them and where they had been going, it was simply a tribute to her keen powers of observation and recall. Conscious spying was beneath her altogether.

Everything is out there if you know how to find it, and have the patience. I dont and havent, but thats my problem.