Quotes by Tim Heidecker

Have you ever wondered how to commit human sacrifice and destroy all the evidence while having a delicious meal all at the same time? It’s called cannibalism and all it means is eating another human being. It’s not that hard.

My dad is a very quick-witted, sarcastic, dry, humorous guy, whereas my moms very silly, and that side of the family is very musical.

Theres a generation of people I think without a strong connection to family, to religion, to civic duty. They have a real disassociation from the problems of the world.

There is nothing funny about a well-adjusted, intelligent person making the right choices.

Nothing impresses the ladies like a clean, pressed pair of khakis and a large pattern shirt featuring either classic cars, mojitos or men playing golf.