Quotes by Tim Allen

Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and friendship toward his mate so the kids understand their parents are sexy, theyre fun, they do things together, theyre best friends. Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, theyre going to respect Mom.

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.

Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice weve always had: work, or prison.

Im an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

Men are liars. Well lie about lying if we have to. Im an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

In the last three years of racing Ive met as many women fans as men fans, and in NASCAR its the same thing. My wife loves cars, but the difference is she doesnt have 20 years of understanding the background of them. She basically drives them and uses her gut feelings as to which is best.

My wife loves cars, but the difference is she doesnt have 20 years of understanding the background of them. She basically drives them and uses her gut feelings as to which is best.

I think women like Ferraris. A Ferrari is everybodys car.