Quotes by Terry Pratchett

Ricewind had always relied on running away. But somerimes, perhaps, you had to stand and fight, if only because there was nowhere left to run.

Look, thats why theres rules, understand? So that you think before you break em.

When you break rules, break em good and hard

(...) perfectly ordinary books, printed on commonplace paper in mundane ink. It would be a mistake to think that they werent also dangerous, just because reading them didnt make fireworks go off in the sky. Reading them sometimes did the more dangerous trick of making fireworks go off in the privacy of the readers brain.

Its not lying when you do it to officers!

Wanna see how creepy I can be?-Mr Teatime

There was a party of well-dressed people with Gilt, and as they progressed accoss the room the whole place began to revolve around the big man, gold being very dense and having a gravity all of its own.

Its always worrying to see a journalist take a sudden interest in what youre saying, especially when you half suspect it was a load of pigeon guano.

For several years he hadnt moved outside a large, airy room, but this was OK, because he spent most of his time inside his own head in any case. Theres a certain type of person its very hard to imprison.

I just managed to go around with one of the Great Spells in my head for years without going insane, didnt I? He considered the last question form all angles.Yes, you did, he reassured himself. You didnt start talking to trees, even when trees started talking to you.

Quick, someones coming! Look real!

MANY PHENOMENA--wars, plagues, sudden audits--have been advanced as evidence for the hidden hand of Satan in the affairs of Man.

Dont tell me from genetics. Whatve they got to do with it? said Crowley. Look at Satan. Created as an angel, grows up to be the Great Adversary. Hey, if youre going to go on about genetics, you might as well say the kid will grow up to be an angel. After all, his father was really big in Heaven in the old days. Saying hell grow up to be a demon just because his dad _became_ one is like saying a mouse with its tail cut off will give birth to tailless mice. No. Upbringing is everything. Take it from me.

Hed been an angel once. He hadnt meant to Fall. Hed just hung around with the wrong people.

All he had was nothing, but that was something, and now it had been taken away.

Always face what you fear. Have just enough money, never too much, and some string. Even if it’s not your fault, it’s your responsibility. Witches deal with things. Never stand between two mirrors. Never cackle. Do what you must do. Never lie, but you don’t always have to be honest. Never wish. Especially don’t wish upon a star, which is astronomically stupid. Open your eyes, and then open your eyes again.

People flock in, nevertheless, in search of answers to those questions only librarians are considered to be able to answer, such as Is this the laundry? How do you spell surreptitious? and, on a regular basis, Do you have a book I remember reading once? It had a red cover and it turned out they were twins.

I know about sureness, said Didactylos. I remember, before I was blind, I went to Omnia once. And in your Citadel I saw a crowd stoning a man to death in a pit. Ever seen that?It has to be done, Brutha mumbled. So the soul can be shriven and-Dont know about the soul. Never been that kind of philosopher, said Didactylos. All I know is, it was a horrible sight.The state of the body is not-Oh, Im not talking about the poor bugger in the pit, said the philosopher. Im talking about the people throwing the stones. They were sure all right. They were sure it wasnt them in the pit. You could see it in their faces. So glad it want them in the pit that they were throwing just as hard as they could.

If there were such a thing as an inter-city thieving contest, Ankh-Morpork would bring home the trophy and probably everyone’s wallets.

There’s a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork, greatest of Discworld c