My goofiest-sounding secret is that I also believe in magic. Sometimes I call it God and sometimes I call it light, and I believe in it because every now and then I read a really good book or hear a really good song or have a really good conversation with a friend and they seem to have some kind of shine to them. The list I keep of these moments in the back of my journal is comprised less of times when I was laughing or smiling and more of times when I felt like I could feel the colors in my eyes deepening from the display before me. Times in which I felt I was witnessing an all-encompassing representation of life driven by an understanding that, coincidence or not, our existence is a peculiar thing, and perhaps the greatest way to honor it is to just be human. To be happy AND sad, and everything else. And yeah, living is a pain, and I say I hate everyone and everything, and I don’t exude much enthusiasm when sandwiched between fluorescent lighting and vinyl flooring for seven hours straight, and I will probably mumble a bunch about how much I wish I could sleep forever the next time I have to wake up at 6 AM. But make no mistake about it: I really do like living. I really, truly do.
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I think it was my moms attitude about art and being part of the narcissistic digital generation or whatever that made me think anyone would care what I had to say about anything!
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I created Rookie because I read a lot of websites that I thought were cool and interesting, but they werent for teens, and I wanted us to have something that could be ours.
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One of my intentions with Rookie is for the girls reading it to know that they are already cool enough and smart enough and pretty enough.
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So much about Rookie has been very organically familial among our contributors, among our readers. Yeah, if I interview someone like Lorde, who I do know outside of work - sometimes Im just so happy; its so cool that this is organically, effortlessly, the warm, supportive friend vibe that we want here.
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Oh God, Im awful at sports. In gym I just try and avoid getting hit in the face.
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My dad is an English teacher, and my mom is a textiles artist. My parents made my sisters and me feel that if we wanted to pursue something creative, it could be done. Theyve always been supportive of everything from the beginning.
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Im really good at making teen angst romantic. Im really good at dealing with heartbreak and things like that and making it into this whole experience. But theres no way to make someone-on-the-Internet-said-something-mean-about-me into romantic angst where you can listen to music and cry or whatever.
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I so think its limiting to define an audience ahead of time. This is something Ive brought on myself by being like, There are no real teen publications! Thats what Ill do! But then its like, well, if I want Rookie to be successful and popular, then people will invalidate the realness by saying its popular and mainstream.
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Rookie is not your guide to Being a Teen. It is, quite simply, a bunch of writing and art we like and believe in.
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I usually end up making a huge mess every morning when I get dressed. My outfit affects my whole day. Im always running late, and Im always trying to make sure I feel really good in what Im wearing, because if youre wearing something youre not comfortable in, it ruins your day.
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Its great that with the Internet, there has come this sense of creative independence.
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My life motto is basically to lower your standards and expectations so youre never disappointed and never put any trust in anything, and I try to prepare for the day that I wake up, and everyone I know is like, LOL JK best long-running practical joke ever, so Ive never really let myself freak out or get too excited about anything.
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I try to be very honest in my writing. Its amazing, though, to think that people are responding to what we do, but its okay if theyre responding in a positive way too, because I think just creating anything at all to put out there is a gift.
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Im really thankful for every experience Ive had, even the ones that were puzzling or disorienting, because they taught me so much.
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Interviewing Rei Kawakubo in Tokyo and John Galliano in Paris, both for Pop magazine, were huge for me, not just in learning about fashion and writing but about how little desire I had to be a critic/reporter/journalist/commentator so much as a kind of travel diarist.
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One thing Ive learned in my limited experience is you can justify anything intellectually. There are a million reasons to stay with someone, and a million reasons to end something - so you can really only trust your gut.
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When I was starting out, I saw it as something that was definitely going to end. Every time I came to New York for fashion week or to interview someone, I was so sad going back home because I thought, These things dont get to last. Thats sort of the narrative of young success.
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I get kind of sad when I look at all of my magazines and think about how at one time I was much more impressed with a certain fashion editorial, or how I feel like I cant really relate to being that excited about fashion anymore. Maybe its being jaded, but I honestly like that now, when somethings really good, I feel more affected by it.
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I think that when you make yourself vulnerable, the thing that you do next is better. Its not like you have to inflict pain on yourself in order to make yourself better, but I think it helps. The thing that bonds you to a new friend isnt that you went to a really fun party; its cause you had a really weird, sad conversation.
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