Quotes by Stephen Merchant

I have experienced bad dating and ineptitude with women all across the globe, from Vietnam to Paris. When I was 21, women were an enigma; they were this code that had to be cracked. They were The Other. I have often thought writing this stuff into stand-up and shows would be an exorcism, but it hasnt been; it makes no difference.

The reason I keep talking about a wife and saying the word wife on stage is because it seems a funny word to me. The more you say it, the more it seems to detach from that person and become this sort of abstract thing: that you would set out to find a wife, that it would be an objective like buying a new car.