Quotes by Stephen Leacock

“Many a man in love with a dimple makes a mistake of marrying the whole girl”

“Saving love doesnt bring any interest.”

“In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.”

“Statistics is the art of lying by means of figures.”

“Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive.”

“Ive come loaded with statistics, for Ive noticed that a man cant prove anything without statistics”

The writing of solid, instructive stuff fortified by facts and figures is easy enough. There is no trouble in writing a scientific treatise on the folk-lore of Central China, or a statistical enquiry into the declining population of Prince Edward Island. But to write something out of ones own mind, worth reading for its own sake, is an arduous contrivance only to be achieved in fortunate moments, few and far in between. Personally, I would sooner have written Alice in Wonderland than the whole Encyclopedia Britannica.

Advertising - A judicious mixture of flattery and threats.

I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it

When actors begin to think it is time for a change. They are not fitted for it.

The sorrows and disasters of Europe always brought fortune to America.

The Lord said let there be wheat and Saskatchewan was born.

In Canada we have enough to do keeping up with two spoken languages ... so we just go right ahead and use English for literature Scotch for sermons and American for conversation.

Im a great believer in luck. I find the harder I work the more I have of it.

Lord Ronald said nothing he flung himself from the room flung himself upon his horse and rode madly off in all directions.

The British are terribly lazy about fighting. They like to get it over and done with and then set up a game of cricket.

I never realized that there was history close at hand beside my very own home. I did not realize that the old grave that stood among the brambles at the foot of our farm was history.

The best definition of humour I know is: humour may be defined as the kindly contemplation of the incongruities of life and the artistic expression thereof. I think this is the best I know because I wrote it myself.

You encourage a comic man too much and he gets silly.

Any man will admit if need be that his sight is not good or that he cannot swim or shoots badly with a rifle but to touch upon his sense of humour is to give him mortal affront.