Quotes by Sloane Crosley

My personality, when tasked with creating meals, goes something like this: Is there a way we can make this more difficult? Because lets do that. I dont mean to complicate things. Its just - why buy pre-packaged potato salad when you can spend your morning boiling potatoes and flipping out because theres no dill in the house?

I was diagnosed with a severe temporal spatial deficit, a learning disability that means I have zero spatial relations skills. It was official: I was a genius trapped in an idiots body.

A pet store is a celebration of dogs existence and an explosion of options. About cats, a pet store seems to say, Here, we couldnt think of anything else. Cats are the Hanukkah of the animal world in this way. They are feted quietly and happily by a minority, but theres only so much hoopla applicable to them.

For me, titles are either a natural two-second experience or stressful enough to give you an ulcer. If they dont pop out perfect on the first try, they can be really hard to repair. Or, worse, if the author thinks they pop out perfect, but the publishing house does not agree, its difficult to shift gears. And then? Then you go insane.

Alaska is what happens when Willy Wonka and the witch from Hansel and Gretel elope, buy a place together upstate, renounce their sweet teeth, and turn into health fanatics.

Air travel is the safest form of travel aside from walking; even then, the chances of being hit by a public bus at 30,000 feet are remarkably slim. I also have no problem with confined spaces. Or heights. What I am afraid of is speed.

Im a summer baby, so I usually have my birthday as a good summer memory.

The Queen of Crafts herself, Martha Stewart, and I have the same birthday. I prefer to think its the glue-gun wielding, perfect-tart-producing Martha and not the copper pan-throwing, jail-going Martha. But I suppose if I am going to share a calendar square with some of Martha, I have to share it with all of Martha.

Theres already a marriage clock, a career clock, a biological clock. Sometimes being a woman feels like standing in the lobby of a hotel, looking at the dials depicting every time zone in the world behind the front desk - except they all apply to you, and all at once.

The year most of my high school friends and I got our drivers permits, the coolest thing one could do was stand outside after school and twirl ones car keys like a lifeguard whistle. That jingling sound meant freedom and power.

“I got out on the street and started crying the kind of hysterical tears made justifiable only by turning off one’s cell phone, putting it to the ear, and pretending to be told of a death in the family.”