Quotes by Sharon Salzberg

Buddhist teachings discourage us from clinging and grasping to those we hold dear, and from trying to control the people or the relationship. What’s more, we’re encouraged to accept the impermanence of all things: the flower that blooms today will be gone tomorrow, the objects we possess will break or fade or lose their utility, our relationships will change, life will end.

Whatever language we use use to describe healthy relationships, when we’re in them, we feel nourished by them, in body as well as mind.

When we constantly hear that we should be smarter, better connected, more productive, wealthier—it takes real courage to claim the time and space to follow the currents of our talents, our aspirations, and our hearts, which may lead in a very different direction.

Intellectually, we may appreciate that loving ourselves would give us a firm foundation but for most of us this is a leap of logic, not a leap of the heart.

Though it may seem counter intuitive to our inner perfectionist, recognizing our mistakes as valuable lessons (not failures) helps us lay the groundwork for later success.

We long for permanence but everything in the known universe is transient. That’s a fact but one we fight.

Science tells us that love not only diminishes the experience of physical pain but can make us—and our beloveds—healthier.

Evolutionary biologists tell us we have a “negativity bias” that makes our brains remember negative events more strongly than positive ones. So when we’re feeling lost or discouraged, it can be very hard to conjure up memories and feelings of happiness and ease.

When we pay attention to sensations in our bodies, we can feel that love is the energetic opposite of fear.

Love seems to open and expand us right down to the cellular level, while fear causes us to contract and withdraw into ourselves.

There is a sentiment common among most of us when it comes to love—letting go can feel scary.

There are an incalculable—even infinite—number of situations in which we can practice forgiveness. Expecting it to be a singular action—motivated by the sheer imperative to move on and forget—can be more damaging than the original feelings of anger. Accepting forgiveness as pluralistic and as an ongoing, individualized process opens us up to realize the role that our own needs play in conflict resolution.

Loving kindness is the practice of offering to oneself and others wishes to be happy, peaceful, healthy, strong

We begin to cultivate real love for ourselves when we treat ourselves with compassion.

A lack of real love for ourselves is one of the most constricting, painful conditions we can know.

Forgiveness is a personal process that doesn’t depend on us having direct contact with the people who have hurt us.

When we forgive someone, we don’t pretend that the harm didn’t happen or cause us pain. We see it clearly for what it was, but we also come to see that fixating on the memory of harm generates anger and sadness.

When we truly allow ourselves to feel our own pain, over time it comes to seem less personal. We start to recognize that what we’ve perceived as our pain is, at a deeper level, the pain inherent in human existence.

Forgiveness is the way we break the grip that long-held resentments have on our hearts.

Healing comes in many ways, and no one formula fits all.