Quotes by Sharon Salzberg

Ultimately, we forgive others in order to free ourselves.

Real forgiveness in close relationships is never easy. It can’t be rushed or engineered.

We nurture our sense of connection with the larger whole, noticing that the whole is only as healthy as its smallest part.

A relationship is the union of two psychological systems.

When we set an intention to explore our emotional hot spots, we create a pathway to real love.

Often in close relationships, the subject being discussed is not the subject at all.

You dont have to love yourself unconditionally before you can give or receive real love.

When we develop our ability to love in one realm, we simultaneously nourish our ability in others, as long as we remain open to the flow of insight and compassion.

So often we operate from ideas of love that don’t fit our reality.

Feelings of apathy as they relate to our relationships often stem from insufficiently paying attention to those around us.

Only when we start to distinguish reality from fantasy that we can humbly, with eyes wide open, forge loving and sustainable connections with others.

What makes awe such a powerful call to love is that it’s disruptive. It sneaks up on us. It doesn’t ask our permission to wow us; it just does. Awe can arise from a single glance, a sound, a gesture.

One foundation of loving relationships is curiosity, keeping open to the idea that we have much to learn even about those we have been close to for decades.

When we don’t tell those we love about what’s really going on or listen carefully to what they have to say, we tend to fill in the blanks with stories.

Although much of the work we do in committed relationships we do with our partners, sometimes it’s necessary to start with ourselves.

With our close friends, family members, and lovers, we hope to create a special world, one in which we can expect to be treated fairly, with care, tenderness, and compassion.

Be open to the possibility that there are other paths available to you in relating to yourself and to another.

Without equanimity, we might give love to others only in an effort to bridge the inevitable and healthy space that always exists between two people.

Whether we fear the existence of boundaries with others or crave more of them, there’s no denying that individuation and separation are inevitable parts of loving relationships that become the site of tension.

We have to know ourselves to know where we end and another person begins, and we have to develop the skills to navigate the space between us. Or else we will seek wholeness through false means that honor neither us nor those we love.