Quotes by Sarah Dessen

Music is the great uniter. An incredible force. Something that people who differ on everything and anything else can have in common.

I remembered Owen telling me how music had saved him in Phoenix, that it drowned everything out, and it was the same for me now. As long as I had something to listen to, I could blur the things I didnt want to think about, if not block them out completely.

a song can take you back instantly to a moment, or a place, or even a person. No matter what else has changed in you or the world, that one song stays the same, just like that moment. Which is pretty amazing, when you actually think about it.

Family isn’t something that’s supposed to be static, or set. People marry in, divorce out. They’re born, they die. It’s always evolving, turning into something else.

Family, she announced. Theyre the people in your life you dont get to pick. The ones that are given to you,as opposed to those you get to choose.Youre bound to them by blood, she continued, her voice flat. Which, you know, gives you that much more in common. Diseases, genetics, hair, and eye color. Its like theyre part of your blueprint. If somethings wrong with you, you can usually trace it back to them.I nodded and kept writing.But, she said, even though youre stuck with them, at the same time, theyre also stuck with you. So thats why they always get the front rows at christenings and funerals. Because theyre the ones that are there, you know, from the beginning to the end. Like it or not.

Family isnt about blood relationships, its about the meaning behind them. I relize now that sharing chromosoms is not the only way to having a family, its about the friendship behind it.

The point, Ms. Conyers continued, is that no word had one specific definition. Maybe in the dictionary, but not in real life.

For me, family means the silent treatment. At any given moment, someone is always not speaking to someone else.Really, I said.Were passive-aggressive people, she explained, taking a sip of her coffee. Silence is our weapon of choice. Right now, for instance, Im not speaking to two of my sisters and one brother... At mine [my house], silence is golden. And common.To me, Reggie said, picking up a bottle of Vitamin A and moving it thoughtfully from one hand to the other, family is, like, the wellspring of human energy. The place where all life begins....Harriet considered this as she took a sip of coffee. Huh, she said. I guess when someone else does something worse. Then you need people on your side, so you make up with one person, jsut as youre getting pissed off at another. So its an endless cycle, I said.I guess. She took another sip. Coming together, falling apart. Isnt that what families are all about?

She smiled, pulling the photo a little closer, and I wondered if I should ask her, too, the question for my project, get her definition. But as she ran a finger slowly across the faces, identifying each one, it occurred to me that maybe this was her answer. All those names, strung together like beads on a chain. Coming together, splitting apart, but still and always, a family. (page 289) ~Ruby

Its funny how two people can grow up in the same town, go to the same school, have the same friends, and end up so totally different. Family, or lack of it, counts for more than youd think.

I couldnt imagine what it would be like to be one of so many, to have not just parents and siblings but cousins and aunts and uncles, an entire tribe to claim as your own. Maybe you would feel lost in the crowd. Or sheltered by it. Whatever the case, one things was for sure: like it or not, youd never be alone.

Well, she said, adjusting a pot lid, I have my family of origin, which is you and Mom. And then Jaimes family, my family of marriage. And hopefully, Ill have another family, as well. Our family, that we make. Me and Jaimie.Now I felt bad, bringing this up so soon after Jamies gaffe. You will, I said.She turned around, crossing her arms over her chest. I hope so. But thats just the thing, right? Family isnt something thats supposed to be static or set. People marry in, divorce out. Theyre born, they die. Its always evolving, turning into something else. even that picture of Jamies family was only the true representation for that one day. But the next , someone had probably changed. It had to....Later, when the kitchen had filled up with people looking for more wine, and children chasing Roscoe, I looked across all the chaos at Cora, thinking that of course you would assume our definitions would be similar, since we had come from the same place. But this wasnt actually true. We all have one idea of what the color blue is, but pressed to describe it specifically, there are so many ways: the ocean, lapis lazuli, the sky, someones eyes. Our definitions were as different as we were ourselves.

What is family? They were the people who claimed you. In good, in bad, in parts or in whole, they were the ones who showed up, who stayed there, regardless.

We were there, together, and in the next room I could hear that monitor beeping. Keeping track of another heart’s beat and giving enduring, solid proof of our own.

Just start somewhere, Dr. Marshall had said to me as I ground a banana-pineapple one to bits between my teeth. It doesnt have to be at the beginning. Shed pulled her legs up, Indian-style, letting the legal pad shed been holding drop to the floor.I thought everything always had to start at the beginning, I said. Not in this room, she said easily. Go ahead, Caitlin. Just tell me one thing. It gets easier, I promise. The first thing is always the hardest. I looked down at my hands, stained mildly red from the particularly sticky watermelon Rancher. Okay, I said, reaching forward to take another one out of the bowl, just in case. She was already sitting back in her chair, readying herself for whatever glimpse I would give her into the mess Id become. What was the name of Pygmalions sister?She blinked, twice, obviously surprised. Ummm, she said, keeping her eyes on me. I dont know.Rogerson did, I told her. Rogerson knew everything.

Outside, the ocean was crashing, waves hitting sand, then pulling back to sea. I thought of everything being washed away, again and again. We make such messes in this life, both accidentally and on purpose. But wiping the surface clean doesnt really make anything neater. It just masks what is below. Its only when you really dig down deep, go underground, that you can see who you really are.

Im sorry, I heard him say again. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a sudden blur of movement as he slid out of his seat, left some bills for the breakfast he wouldnt eat, and walked away. And as he did, I thought again of those mornings in the hallway at school, way back in ninth grade. Everything had started in such sharp detail, each aspect pronounced and clear. Obviously, endings were different. Harder to see, full of shapes that could be one thing or another, with all the things that you were once so sure of suddenly not familiar, if they were even recognizable at all.

If you try anything, if you try to lose weight, or to improve yourself, or to love, or to make the world a better place, you have already achieved something wonderful, before you even begin. Forget failure. If things dont work out the way you want, hold your head up high and be proud. And try again. And again. And again!

It was amazing how you could get so far from where youd planned, and yet find it was exactly were you needed to be.

That was the hard thing about grief, and the grieving. They spoke another language, and the words we knew always fell short of what we wanted them to say.