Suddenly, I was just sure he was going to kiss me. He was there, I could feel his breath, the ground solid beneath us. But then something crossed his face, a thought, a hesitation, and he shifted slightly. Not now. Not yet. It was something Id done so often - weighing what I could afford to risk, right at that moment - that I recognized it instantly. It was like looking in a mirror.
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If hed been any other boy, and this was any other world, I would have kissed him. Nothing could have stopped me.
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I said, somewhat confused, “What’s the problem?”[Kristy] rolled her eyes. Beside her, Monica said, “Donneven.”“Kristy.” Delia shook her head. “This isn’t the time or the place, okay?”“The time or the place for what?” Caroline asked.“There is never,” Kristy said adamantly, “a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment.”“Throbbing?” my mother said, leaning forward and looking at me. “Who’s throbbing?”“Macy and Wes,” Kristy told her.“We are not,” I said indignantly. “Kristy,” Delia said helplessly. “Please God I’m begging you, not now.”“Wait a second, wait a second.” Caroline held her hands up. “Kristy. Explain.”“Yes, Kristy,” my mother said, but she was looking at me. Not really mad as much as confused. Join the club, I thought. “Explain.”Bert said, “This ought to be good.”Kristy ignored him, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. “Wes wants to be with Macy. And Macy, whether she’ll admit it or not, wants to be with Wes. And yet they’re not together, which is not only unjust, but really, when you think about it, tragical.”“That’s not a word,” Bert pointed out.“It is now,” she said. “How else can you explain a situation where Wes, a truly extraordinary boy, would be sent packing in favor of some brainiac loser…”“Why,” I said, feeling embarrassed, “do we have to keep talking about this?”“Because it’s tragical!” Kristy said….”I’ll tell you what it is. It’s wrong. You should be with Wes, Macy. The whole time you guys were hanging out, talking about how you were both with other people, it was so obvious to everyone. It was even obvious to Wes. You were the only one who couldn’t see it, just like you can’t see it now.”“Mmm-hmm,” Monica said aloud.
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These were always the weirdest trips for me, when it was midnight or even later, and we pulled up to a dark house, trying to be quiet. Like a robbery in reverse, creeping around to leave something rather than take it.
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Good be- gets bad, something lost leads to found...
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Restoring order of my personal universe suddenly seemed imperative, as I refolded my T-shirts, stuffed the toes of my shoes with tissue paper, and arranged all the bills in my secret stash box facing the same way, instead of tossed in sloppy and wild, as if by my evil twin. All week, I kept making lists and crossing things off them, ending each day with a sense of great accomplishment eclipsed only by complete and total exhaustion.
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funny how a beautiful song could tell such a sad story
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That was the thing about being alone, in theory or in principle. Whatever happened-good, bad, or anywhere in between-it was always, if nothing else, all your own.
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Everything hurt. I closed my eyes, pressing my cheek to the street, and waited. What for, I didnt know. To be rescued. Or found. But no one came. All Id ever thought I wanted was to be left alone. Until I was.
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All Id ever thought I wanted was to be left alone. Until I was.
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Not everythings perfect, especially in the beginning. And its all right to have a little bit of regret every once in a while. Its when you feel it all the time and cant do anything about it... thats when you get into trouble
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I hadnt said goodbye. It had been easier, like always, to just disappear, sparing myself the messy details of another farewell. Now, my fingers hovered over my track pad, moving the cursor down to his comment section before I stopped myself. What was the point? Anything I said now would only be an afterthought.Elizabeth who goes by her middle name
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It shouldnt be easy to be amazing. Then everything would be. Its the things you fight for and struggle with before earning that have the greatest worth. When somethings difficult to come by, youll do that much more to make sure its even harder―or impossible―to lose.
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If you try anything, if you try to lose weight, or to improve yourself, or to love, or to make the world a better place, you have already achieved something wonderful, before you even begin. Forget failure. If things dont work out the way you want, hold your head up high and be proud, and try again.
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School was my solace, and studying let me escape, allowing me to live a thousand vicarious lives.
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Earlier in the summer, Id found the syllabi to a couple of the courses I was taking at Defriese in the fall, and Id hunted down a few of the texts at the U bookstore, figuring it couldnt hurt to acquaint myself with the material.
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its a lot easier to be lost than found.
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A united front announcing a split.
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The girl in the tight black dress was passing by us now, eyeing Wes and walking entirely too slowly. Hi, she said, and he nodded at her but didnt reply. Knew it, I thought.Honestly, I said.What?Come on. You have to admit, its sort of ridiculous.What is?Now that I had to define it, I found myself struggling for the right words. You know, I said, then figured Kristy had really summed it up best. The sa-woon.The what?
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Why does she have wings?So she can fly.
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