“For Gods sake, give me the young man who has brains enough to make a fool of himself”
The follies of youth have
a basis in sound reason, just as much as the embarrassing questions put
by babes and sucklings. Their most antisocial acts indicate the defects
of our society. When the torrent sweeps the man against a boulder, you
must expect him to scream, and you need not be surprised if the scream is
sometimes a theory. Shelley, chafing at the Church of England,
discovered the cure of all evils in universal atheism. Generous lads
irritated at the injustices of society, see nothing for it but the
abolishment of everything and Kingdom Come of anarchy. Shelley was a
young fool; so are these cocksparrow revolutionaries. But it is better
to be a fool than to be dead. It is better to emit a scream in the shape
of a theory than to be entirely insensible to the jars and incongruities
of life and take everything as it comes in a forlorn stupidity. Some
people swallow the universe like a pill; they travel on through the
world, like smiling images pushed from behind. For God’s sake give me
the young man who has brains enough to make a fool of himself! As for
the others, the irony of facts shall take it out of their hands, and make
fools of them in downright earnest, ere the farce be over. There shall
be such a mopping and a mowing at the last day, and such blushing and
confusion of countenance for all those who have been wise in their own
esteem, and have not learnt the rough lessons that youth hands on to age.
If we are indeed here to perfect and complete our own natures, and grow
larger, stronger, and more sympathetic against some nobler career in the
future, we had all best bestir ourselves to the utmost while we have the
time. To equip a dull, respectable person with wings would be but to
make a parody of an angel.
In short, if youth is not quite right in its opinions, there is a strong
probability that age is not much more so. Undying hope is co-ruler of
the human bosom with infallible credulity. A man finds he has been wrong
at every preceding stage of his career, only to deduce the astonishing
conclusion that he is at last entirely right.
“All speech, written or spoken, is a dead language, until it finds a willing and prepared hearer.”
Traqairs of Montroymont
II. Francie
III. The Hill-End of Drumlowe
LAY MORALS
_The following chapters of a projected treatise on Ethics were drafted at
Edinburgh in the spring of_ 1879. _They are unrevised_, _and must not be
taken as representing_, _either as to matter or form_, _their author's
final thoughts_; _but they contain much that is essentially
characteristic of his mind_.
* * * * *
_Copyright in the United States of America_.
CHAPTER I
The problem of education is twofold: first to know, and then to utter.
Every one who lives any semblance of an inner life thinks more nobly and
profoundly than he speaks; and the best of teachers can impart only
broken images of the truth which they perceive. Speech which goes from
one to another between two natures, and, what is worse, between two
experiences, is doubly relative. The speaker buries his meaning; it is
for the hearer to dig it up again; and all speech, written or spoken, is
in a dead language until it finds a willing and prepared hearer. Such,
moreover, is the complexity of life, that when we condescend upon details
in our advice, we may be sure we condescend on error; and the best of
education is to throw out some magnanimous hints. No man was ever so
poor that he could express all he has in him by words, looks, or actions;
his true knowledge is eternally incommunicable, for it is a knowledge of
himself; and his best wisdom comes to him by no process of the mind, but
in a supreme self-dictation, which keeps varying from hour to hour in its
dictates with the variation of events and circumstances.
A few men of picked nature, full of faith, courage, and contempt for
others, try earnestly to set forth as much as they can grasp of this
inner law; but the vast majority, when they come to advise the young,
must be content to retail certain doctrines which have been already
retailed to them in their own youth. Every generation has to educate
another which it has brought upon the stage. People who readily accept
the responsibility of parentship, having very different matters in their
eye, are apt to feel rueful when that responsibility falls due.
“Quiet minds cant be perplexed or frightened, but go on in fortune or misfortune at their own private pace, like a clock during a thunderstorm.”
‘_C’est bon_,
_n’est-ce pas_?’ she would say; and when she had received a proper
answer, she disappeared into the kitchen. That common French dish,
partridge and cabbages, became a new thing in my eyes at the Golden
Sheep; and many subsequent dinners have bitterly disappointed me in
consequence. Sweet was our rest in the Golden Sheep at Moy.
LA FÈRE OF CURSED MEMORY
WE lingered in Moy a good part of the day, for we were fond of being
philosophical, and scorned long journeys and early starts on principle.
The place, moreover, invited to repose. People in elaborate shooting
costumes sallied from the château with guns and game-bags; and this was a
pleasure in itself, to remain behind while these elegant pleasure-seekers
took the first of the morning. In this way, all the world may be an
aristocrat, and play the duke among marquises, and the reigning monarch
among dukes, if he will only outvie them in tranquillity. An
imperturbable demeanour comes from perfect patience. Quiet minds cannot
be perplexed or frightened, but go on in fortune or misfortune at their
own private pace, like a clock during a thunderstorm.
We made a very short day of it to La Fère; but the dusk was falling, and
a small rain had begun before we stowed the boats. La Fère is a
fortified town in a plain, and has two belts of rampart. Between the
first and the second extends a region of waste land and cultivated
patches. Here and there along the wayside were posters forbidding
trespass in the name of military engineering. At last, a second gateway
admitted us to the town itself. Lighted windows looked gladsome, whiffs
of comfortable cookery came abroad upon the air. The town was full of
the military reserve, out for the French Autumn Manœuvres, and the
reservists walked speedily and wore their formidable great-coats. It was
a fine night to be within doors over dinner, and hear the rain upon the
windows.
The _Cigarette_ and I could not sufficiently congratulate each other on
the prospect, for we had been told there was a capital inn at La Fère.
Such a dinner as we were going to eat! such beds as we were to sleep
in!
“Books are good enough in their own way, but they are a mighty bloodless substitute for life”
To state one
argument is not necessarily to be deaf to all others, and that a man has
written a book of travels in Montenegro, is no reason why he should never
have been to Richmond.
It is surely beyond a doubt that people should be a good deal idle in
youth. For though here and there a Lord Macaulay may escape from school
honours with all his wits about him, most boys pay so dear for their
medals that they never afterwards have a shot in their locker, and begin
the world bankrupt. And the same holds true during all the time a lad is
educating himself, or suffering others to educate him. It must have been
a very foolish old gentleman who addressed Johnson at Oxford in these
words: “Young man, ply your book diligently now, and acquire a stock of
knowledge; for when years come upon you, you will find that poring upon
books will be but an irksome task.” The old gentleman seems to have been
unaware that many other things besides reading grow irksome, and not a
few become impossible, by the time a man has to use spectacles and cannot
walk without a stick. Books are good enough in their own way, but they
are a mighty bloodless substitute for life. It seems a pity to sit, like
the Lady of Shalott, peering into a mirror, with your back turned on all
the bustle and glamour of reality. And if a man reads very hard, as the
old anecdote reminds us, he will have little time for thought.
If you look back on your own education, I am sure it will not be the
full, vivid, instructive hours of truantry that you regret; you would
rather cancel some lack-lustre periods between sleep and waking in the
class. For my own part, I have attended a good many lectures in my time.
I still remember that the spinning of a top is a case of Kinetic
Stability. I still remember that Emphyteusis is not a disease, nor
Stillicide a crime. But though I would not willingly part with such
scraps of science, I do not set the same store by them as by certain
other odds and ends that I came by in the open street while I was playing
truant. This is not the moment to dilate on that mighty place of
education, which was the favourite school of Dickens and of Balzac, and
turns out yearly many inglorious masters in the Science of the Aspects of
Life.
“Some people swallow the universe like a pill; they travel on through the world, like smiling images pushed from behind.”
But they had a point; they not only befitted your age and
expressed its attitude and passions, but they had a relation to what was
outside of you, and implied criticisms on the existing state of things,
which you need not allow to have been undeserved, because you now see
that they were partial. All error, not merely verbal, is a strong way of
stating that the current truth is incomplete. The follies of youth have
a basis in sound reason, just as much as the embarrassing questions put
by babes and sucklings. Their most antisocial acts indicate the defects
of our society. When the torrent sweeps the man against a boulder, you
must expect him to scream, and you need not be surprised if the scream is
sometimes a theory. Shelley, chafing at the Church of England,
discovered the cure of all evils in universal atheism. Generous lads
irritated at the injustices of society, see nothing for it but the
abolishment of everything and Kingdom Come of anarchy. Shelley was a
young fool; so are these cocksparrow revolutionaries. But it is better
to be a fool than to be dead. It is better to emit a scream in the shape
of a theory than to be entirely insensible to the jars and incongruities
of life and take everything as it comes in a forlorn stupidity. Some
people swallow the universe like a pill; they travel on through the
world, like smiling images pushed from behind. For God’s sake give me
the young man who has brains enough to make a fool of himself! As for
the others, the irony of facts shall take it out of their hands, and make
fools of them in downright earnest, ere the farce be over. There shall
be such a mopping and a mowing at the last day, and such blushing and
confusion of countenance for all those who have been wise in their own
esteem, and have not learnt the rough lessons that youth hands on to age.
If we are indeed here to perfect and complete our own natures, and grow
larger, stronger, and more sympathetic against some nobler career in the
future, we had all best bestir ourselves to the utmost while we have the
time. To equip a dull, respectable person with wings would be but to
make a parody of an angel.
In short, if youth is not quite right in its opinions, there is a strong
probability that age is not much more so. Undying hope is co-ruler of
the human bosom with infallible credulity. A man finds he has been wrong
at every preceding stage of his career, only to deduce the astonishing
conclusion that he is at last entirely right.
So long as we love we serve; so long as we are loved by others, I would almost say that we are indispensable; and no man is useless while he has a friend.
Neither is it enough to buy
the loaf with a sixpence; for then you are only changing the point of the
inquiry; and you must first have _bought the sixpence_. Service for
service: how have you bought your sixpences? A man of spirit desires
certainty in a thing of such a nature; he must see to it that there is
some reciprocity between him and mankind; that he pays his expenditure in
service; that he has not a lion's share in profit and a drone's in
labour; and is not a sleeping partner and mere costly incubus on the
great mercantile concern of mankind.
Services differ so widely with different gifts, and some are so
inappreciable to external tests, that this is not only a matter for the
private conscience, but one which even there must be leniently and
trustfully considered. For remember how many serve mankind who do no
more than meditate; and how many are precious to their friends for no
more than a sweet and joyous temper. To perform the function of a man of
letters it is not necessary to write; nay, it is perhaps better to be a
living book. So long as we love we serve; so long as we are loved by
others, I would almost say that we are indispensable; and no man is
useless while he has a friend. The true services of life are inestimable
in money, and are never paid. Kind words and caresses, high and wise
thoughts, humane designs, tender behaviour to the weak and suffering, and
all the charities of man's existence, are neither bought nor sold.
Yet the dearest and readiest, if not the most just, criterion of a man's
services, is the wage that mankind pays him or, briefly, what he earns.
There at least there can be no ambiguity. St. Paul is fully and freely
entitled to his earnings as a tentmaker, and Socrates fully and freely
entitled to his earnings as a sculptor, although the true business of
each was not only something different, but something which remained
unpaid. A man cannot forget that he is not superintended, and serves
mankind on parole. He would like, when challenged by his own conscience,
to reply: 'I have done so much work, and no less, with my own hands and
brain, and taken so much profit, and no more, for my own personal
delight.' And though St.
I kept always two books in my pocket, one to read, one to write in.
I see the indifferent pass before my friend's last resting-place; pause,
with a shrug of pity, marvelling that so rich an argosy had sunk. A
pity, now that he is done with suffering, a pity most uncalled for, and
an ignorant wonder. Before those who loved him, his memory shines like a
reproach; they honour him for silent lessons; they cherish his example;
and in what remains before them of their toil, fear to be unworthy of the
dead. For this proud man was one of those who prospered in the valley of
humiliation;--of whom Bunyan wrote that, "Though Christian had the hard
hap to meet in the valley with Apollyon, yet I must tell you, that in
former times men have met with angels here; have found pearls here; and
have in this place found the words of life."
CHAPTER IV. A COLLEGE MAGAZINE
I
All through my boyhood and youth, I was known and pointed out for the
pattern of an idler; and yet I was always busy on my own private end,
which was to learn to write. I kept always two books in my pocket, one
to read, one to write in. As I walked, my mind was busy fitting what I
saw with appropriate words; when I sat by the roadside, I would either
read, or a pencil and a penny version-book would be in my hand, to note
down the features of the scene or commemorate some halting stanzas. Thus
I lived with words. And what I thus wrote was for no ulterior use, it
was written consciously for practice. It was not so much that I wished
to be an author (though I wished that too) as that I had vowed that I
would learn to write. That was a proficiency that tempted me; and I
practised to acquire it, as men learn to whittle, in a wager with myself.
Description was the principal field of my exercise; for to any one with
senses there is always something worth describing, and town and country
are but one continuous subject. But I worked in other ways also; often
accompanied my walks with dramatic dialogues, in which I played many
parts; and often exercised myself in writing down conversations from
memory.
This was all excellent, no doubt; so were the diaries I sometimes tried
to keep, but always and very speedily discarded, finding them a school of
posturing and melancholy self-deception.
There are two things that men should never weary of, goodness and humility; we get none too much of them in this rough world among cold, proud people.
We had no sooner come to the door of Mr. Henderland's dwelling, than to
my great surprise (for I was now used to the politeness of Highlanders)
he burst rudely past me, dashed into the room, caught up a jar and
a small horn-spoon, and began ladling snuff into his nose in most
excessive quantities. Then he had a hearty fit of sneezing, and looked
round upon me with a rather silly smile.
"It's a vow I took," says he. "I took a vow upon me that I wouldnae
carry it. Doubtless it's a great privation; but when I think upon
the martyrs, not only to the Scottish Covenant but to other points of
Christianity, I think shame to mind it."
As soon as we had eaten (and porridge and whey was the best of the good
man's diet) he took a grave face and said he had a duty to perform by
Mr. Campbell, and that was to inquire into my state of mind towards God.
I was inclined to smile at him since the business of the snuff; but he
had not spoken long before he brought the tears into my eyes. There are
two things that men should never weary of, goodness and humility; we get
none too much of them in this rough world among cold, proud people; but
Mr. Henderland had their very speech upon his tongue. And though I was a
good deal puffed up with my adventures and with having come off, as the
saying is, with flying colours; yet he soon had me on my knees beside a
simple, poor old man, and both proud and glad to be there.
Before we went to bed he offered me sixpence to help me on my way, out
of a scanty store he kept in the turf wall of his house; at which excess
of goodness I knew not what to do. But at last he was so earnest with me
that I thought it the more mannerly part to let him have his way, and so
left him poorer than myself.
CHAPTER XVII
THE DEATH OF THE RED FOX
The next day Mr. Henderland found for me a man who had a boat of his own
and was to cross the Linnhe Loch that afternoon into Appin, fishing. Him
he prevailed on to take me, for he was one of his flock; and in this way
I saved a long day's travel and the price of the two public ferries I
must otherwise have passed.
It was near noon before we set out; a dark day with clouds, and the sun
shining upon little patches.
The truth that is suppressed by friends is the readiest weapon of the enemy.
You having (in one huge instance) failed, and
Damien succeeded, I marvel it should not have occurred to you that you
were doomed to silence; that when you had been outstripped in that high
rivalry, and sat inglorious in the midst of your well-being, in your
pleasant room--and Damien, crowned with glories and horrors, toiled and
rotted in that pigsty of his under the cliffs of Kalawao--you, the elect
who would not, were the last man on earth to collect and propagate gossip
on the volunteer who would and did.
I think I see you--for I try to see you in the flesh as I write these
sentences--I think I see you leap at the word pigsty, a hyperbolical
expression at the best. "He had no hand in the reforms," he was "a
coarse, dirty man"; these were your own words; and you may think it
possible that I am come to support you with fresh evidence. In a sense,
it is even so. Damien has been too much depicted with a conventional
halo and conventional features; so drawn by men who perhaps had not the
eye to remark or the pen to express the individual; or who perhaps were
only blinded and silenced by generous admiration, such as I partly envy
for myself--such as you, if your soul were enlightened, would envy on
your bended knees. It is the least defect of such a method of
portraiture that it makes the path easy for the devil's advocate, and
leaves the misuse of the slanderer a considerable field of truth. For
the truth that is suppressed by friends is the readiest weapon of the
enemy. The world, in your despite, may perhaps owe you something, if
your letter be the means of substituting once for all a credible likeness
for a wax abstraction. For, if that world at all remember you, on the
day when Damien of Molokai shall be named a Saint, it will be in virtue
of one work: your letter to the Reverend H. B. Gage.
You may ask on what authority I speak. It was my inclement destiny to
become acquainted, not with Damien, but with Dr. Hyde. When I visited
the lazaretto, Damien was already in his resting grave. But such
information as I have, I gathered on the spot in conversation with those
who knew him well and long: some indeed who revered his memory; but
others who had sparred and wrangled with him, who beheld him with no
halo, who perhaps regarded him with small respect, and through whose
unprepared and scarcely partial communications the plain, human features
of the man shone on me convincingly. These gave me what knowledge I
possess; and I learnt it in that scene where it could be most completely
and sensitively understood--Kalawao, which you have never visited, about
which you have never so much as endeavoured to inform yourself; for,
brief as your letter is, you have found the means to stumble into that
confession.
“I feel like someone who I wouldnt let my own daughter fuck, and I also feel like someone who, if I was that daugther, would want to fuck more that anyone else.”
“When modern woman discovered the orgasm, it was, combined with modern birth control, perhaps the biggest single nail in the coffin of male dominance.”
“If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies”
“Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.”
“You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us”
“All the flowers of all the tomorrows are in the seeds of today”
“Expect the best, plan for the worst, and prepare to be surprised.”
“This very moment is a seed from which the flowers of tomorrows happiness grow.”
“Proper preparation prevents poor performance.”
“You hesitate to stab me with a word, and know not - silence is the sharper sword”
“This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows its meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in”