Quotes by Richard Lewis

“When youre in love its the most glorious two and a half days of your life”

“Most Texans think Hanukkah is some sort of duck call.”

“My grandmother was a Jewish juggler: she used to worry about six things at once”

“I love being famous. It validates that I have something to say”

“I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back.”

“All his cases, hes been fined and gotten off. I dont think he was here just by accident. There were kids running around here all day. I really think this guys a sexual predator.”

“Back in the day, people used to have more patience for the long form and for storytelling,”

“It wasnt the kind of comedy I was a big fan of. I used to do a monologue on the Division of Motor Vehicles, and it was like six or seven minutes long. They had to follow me from beginning to end. I did a routine about buying a blender at a drugstore. It was about seven or eight minutes long.”

“I am just now beginning to move better and to feel a lot better about how I am playing, ... I am glad the seasons over because now it means I can come back next year and play at 100 percent.”

“The retailers are trying to gain market share by offering good value on their books and they want people to receive a brand image about their shop too,”

My humor is channeling everything through my brain. For example, when I talk about something, its how Richard Lewis feels about it. Im a storyteller. I do a lot of free association.

I never wanted to do observational humor because I never wanted to tell people what they were seeing.

If you want to devote yourself to the arts, youd better do it strictly from passion, because there is zero guarantee that youll get anywhere. The hardest thing is dealing with business people who have nothing to do with your art. They could care less that youre up at 4:30 in the morning writing a joke. Dont expect any sympathy from anybody.

I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back.

When youre in love its the most glorious two and a half days of your life.