Daddy, I whispered, feeling my own breath hitch in my throat. I love you.Just when I was sure he was asleep, the one corner of his mouth lifted in a smile. I knew that, he murmured. Always knew that.
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Id found out that if you pushed people away hard enough, they tended to go.
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All the stuff you can’t wait to get away from, until it’s not there anymore, and then you miss it like crazy.
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In a well-ordered universe...
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The best discoveries always happened to the people who werent looking for them.
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The best discoveries always happened to the people who werent looking for it. Columbus and America. Pinzon, who stumbled on Brazil while looking for the West Indies. Stanley happening on Victoria Falls. And you. Amy Curry, when I was least expecting her.-Roger Sullivan
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Roger, he has a chain saw, I hissed. I am not going to die in Kentucky!
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What was the point of trying to run away if people were going to insist on reminding you of what you were running from?
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As I looked out at the water, I realized there was nowhere to go, nowhere left to run. And I just had to stay here, facing this terrible truth. I felt, as more tears fell, just how tired I was, a tiredness that had nothing to do with the hour. I was tired of running away from this, tired of not telling people, tired of not talking about it, tired of pretending things were okay when they had never, ever been less than okay.
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And we were kissing like drowning people breathe-- like suddenly wed discovered something that has never been so sweet before that moment.
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You + Mesaw this...AMERICAThank you for finding America with me
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Tomorrow will be better.”“But what if it’s not?” I asked.“Then you say it again tomorrow. Because it might be. You never know, right? At some point, tomorrow will be better.
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He stood and looked at me for a moment, taking in my outfit. You look hot.What? Me? I stammered, completely flummoxed.Yeah, he said, still looking at me.Oh. Um, thank you. I mean, not that you don’t, but I’m not sure that you should—I mean …Oh, no, Roger said quickly, and I could see that he was blushing again. No. I mean—I meant what you’re wearing. Are you going to be too warm?
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All I could determine was that it must have been a nice thing to see if it was a house you were thinking about moving into. But not so nice if it was the house you were moving out from. I could practically hear Mr Collins, who had taught my fifth-grade English class and was still the most intimidating teacher Id ever had, yelling at me. Amy Curry, I could still hear him intoning, never end a sentence with a preposition! Irked that after six hears he was still mentally correcting me, I told the Mr. Collins in my head to off fuck.
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Real friends are the ones you can count on no matter what.The ones who go into the forest to find you and bring you home.And real friends never have to tell you that they’re your friends.
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When you move as much as I have...you know how it ends. You promise to stay in touch with people, but it doesnt work out. It never does. And you forgot about what the friendship used to be like, why you liked that person. And I hated it. And I just didnt want to do it again. Not with you.
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As I looked out at the water, I realized there was nowhere to go, nowhere left to run. And I just had to stay here facing this terrible truth. I felt, as more tears fell, just how tired I was, a tiredness that had nothing to do with the hour. I was tired of running from this, tired of pretending that things were okay when they had never, ever been less okay.
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I knew in that moment that things would be forever different- that today was gong to be the day that split my life into before and after.
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I kept thinking back to all those nights in Connecticut, when I was out the door as soon as dinner was over, yelling my plans behind me as I headed to my car, ready for my real night to begin—my time with my family just something to get through as quickly as possible. And now that I knew that the time we had together was limited, I was holding on to it, trying to stretch it out, all the while wishing I’d appreciated what I’d had earlier.
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Its always a risk. Wherever there is great emotion. because there is power in that. And few people handle power well.
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