Gunner shook his head; he wasnt in the mood. He stared down at his bottle as he spoke. Yeah, and what if I do go after it and what if I find no one, and Im alone for the next sixty years? What then? Huh? Friends and family will get married. Ill be stuck buying gifts. Years pass: children, birthday parties. At dinner parties, Ill be odd man out, forcing people to arrange five chairs around a table instead of four or six. Or, okay, lets say maybe twenty years down the line I meet someone nice and Ive already given up on ever finding true love. Lets say the girl is a few pounds overweight, has fizzy hair and an annoying laugh, but at this point, Im also a few pounds overweight and my hair is thinning and my laughter is annoying. Maybe then the two of us get married, and both our groups of friends will say, See I told you that youd find true love. It just took a while. And well smile, but well both know its a lie--
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I couldnt see killing myself if I had a book that was only half-read: Fountainhead, Catcher in the Rye, Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, One Hundred Years of Solitude? No. I figured that those who killed themselves first had to finish whatever book they were reading...if it were any good, that is. Of course, theres always the occasional book that makes you want to throw yourself off a bridge just for having wasted your time reading it. But I usually finished those ones, too.
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Am I awake or dreaming? It doesn’t matter anymore. When I close my eyes I dream of death and war. When I open my eyes I see death and war.
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If God created everything, and if man is created in Gods image, and if man can dream a fate greater than the one set out for him by God, could God dream a fate greater than his own?
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