Quotes by Lenny Bruce

There are never enough I love yous.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You cant fake it...try to fake three laughs in an hour -- ha ha ha ha ha -- theyll take you away, man. You cant.

The what should be never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no what should be, there is only what is.

If you cant say Fuck you cant say, Fuck the government.

I wont say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like What Im Going to be If I Grow Up

(On his addiction to opiods): Ill die young, but its like kissing God.

If you live in New York, even if youre Catholic, youre Jewish

The whole motivation for any performer is Look at me Ma.

I wont say ours was a tough school but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like What Im Going to Be if I Grow Up.

The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.

All my humor is based on destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, Id be standing in the bread line - right in back of J. Edgar Hoover.

There are never enough I Love Yous.

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

When youre eight years old nothing is your business.

Communism is like one big phone company.

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You cant fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - theyll take you away, man. You cant.

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.