Quotes by Lemony Snicket

It is almost as if happiness is an acquired taste, like coconut cordial or ceviche, to which you can eventually become accustomed, but despair is something surprising each time you encounter it.

Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece of mail, so rarely arrives, and even when it does it can be lost so easily.

To hear the phrase our only hope always makes one anxious, because it means that if the only hope doesnt work, there is nothing left.

I am heartbroken, but I have been heartbroken before, and this might be the best for which I can hope.

All cannot be lost when there is still so much being found

It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things.

It is useless for me to describe to you how terrible Violet, Klaus, and even Sunny felt in the time that followed. If you have ever lost someone very important to you, then you already know how it feels, and if you havent, you cannot possibly imagine it.

In any case, this is how all our stories begin, in darkness with our eyes closed, and all our stories end the same way, too, with all of us uttering some last words—or perhaps someone else’s—before slipping back into darkness as our series of unfortunate events comes to an end.

A man of my acquaintance once wrote a poem called The Road Less Traveled, describing a journey he took through the woods along a path most travelers never used. The poet found that the road less traveled was peaceful but quite lonely, and he was probably a bit nervous as he went along, because if anything happened on the road less traveled, the other travelers would be on the road more frequently traveled and so couldnt hear him as he cried for help. Sure enough, that poet is dead.

My silence knot is tied up in my hair; as if to keep my love out of my eyes. I cannot speak to one for whom i care. A hatpin serves as part of my disguise. In the play, my role is baticeer; a word which here means person who trains bats. The audience may feel a prick of fear, as if sharp pins are hidden in thier hats. My co-star lives on what we call a brae. His solitude might not be just an act. A piece of mail fails to arrive one day. This poignant melodramas based on fact.The curtain falls just as the knot unties; the silence is broken by the one who dies.

Writing is a dying form. One reads of this every day.

If you work hard, and become successful, it does not necessarily mean you are successful because you worked hard, just as if you are tall with long hair it doesnt mean that you would be a midget if you were bald.

Santa Claus has nothing to do with it, the latke said. Christmas and Hanukah are completely different things.But different things can often blend together, said the pine tree. Let me tell you a funny story about pagan rituals.

Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.

Im jealous of your hooks, Kevin replied. Having no hands is better than having two equally strong hands.Dont be ridiculous, one of the white-faced women replied. Having a white face is worse than both of your situations.But you have a white face because you put makeup on, Colette said, as Sunny climbed back out of the trunk and knelt down in the snow. Youre putting powder on your face right now.

Tea should be as bitter as wormwod and as sharp as a two eged swordKit Snicket (a series of unfortunate events)

the table of elements does not contain one of the most powerful elements that make up our world, and that is the element of surprise.

What a schmuck!

I am so tired, I can hardly type these worfs.

These three man, Mimi said, are suspects in a recent theft. Last night, Polly Partial received a shipment of twenty blueberry pies. This morning she counted them and came up short.How many are missing? I asked.Last night she had twenty, Harvey said, shutting the station door, and today she found zero. So at least eighteen are missing.At least. I agreed.