Quotes by Kristan Higgins

You asked why I couldnt forgive you, Nick said, very quietly, and I jumped a little. It was because you were the love of my life, Harper. And you didnt want to be. Thats hard to let go.

Ill tell you something, Harpy, he said, his voice almost a whisper now. It never even occurred to me that we wouldnt make it. And it never occurred to you that we would. You were just waiting for us to go down in flames. I thought we could get through anything.

....And then I turned and saw a guy staring at me....What are you looking at, idiot? I asked, giving him the sneer that had served me so well.My future wife. The mother of my children.

I dont get it, guys, I continued. Id want to date me. Why is it so hard for me? Im wicked fun, I dress nicely, Im friendly... Id love to date me. Wouldnt you?

Not everyone has to be in a relationship to feel good about themselves. Some people are better off on their own.

Forgiveness is difficult,” she said, making me feel small-hearted and brittle. “You don’t have to trust Adam again, not right away, but it does mean you have to accept what’s happened and start to take steps away from the infidelity.” So once again, the burden is on me. Planning the wedding, though it was a genuine joy, was on me. Once we figured out why we couldn’t get pregnant, the burden was on me, too, with those horrible shots that made me so hormonal I had to go into the bathroom at work and cry, and everyone knew and was so nice, which made me cry more. All Adam had to do was switch to wearing boxers and have more sex. The pregnancy—me again. I’m the one with a four-inch scar and a pooch of skin. The house decorating, painting, hiring people to overhaul the plumbing and electric… me. His mother’s birthday—also mine to remember. Holidays, vacations, weekend plans, all mine. And while I would never call my girls a burden, the huge responsibility of raising them is 99 percent mine. And now the future of our marriage is on me. I have to forgive him. I have to accept his apology. I have to get past this. That first night, I lay stiffly next to him. He gave me a meaningful basset-hound look and said, “Thank you, Rachel,” and it was all I could do not to flip him off.

Book club meets every other month or so. Besides marriage counseling and the very occasional night out with my sister, I’m home twenty-nine nights out of thirty, and still the girls resent me. Not once have they ever complained about Adam’s late meetings—which may or may not have been booty calls for amazing porno sex. Me, I go out to my stupid book club, and I’m punished for it.

In most marriages, lust and love become tempered by normalcy. If you hear your husband farting in the bathroom seconds before he emerges and asks if you want to fool around, you generally don’t want to fool around. You might, after a few minutes, but you have to forgive your husband for… well, for being human. For eating a bean burrito. After all, you ate the bean burrito, too.

But theyre family, and you forgive them, even if they are human equivalent of hyenas. Because thats what you do, Posey. Forgive.

If only…the saddest words in the English language.

I dont want to lose you, I love you, and…and thats all Ive got.”As speeches went, it wasnt great. As feelings went…different story.

She smiled, and there it was again, that aching pressure in his chest. Love, or a heart attack. Kind of the same thing.

When an eighty-five pound mammal licks your tears away, then tries to sit on your lap, its hard to feel sad.

The bewilderment is the worst part. That’s what they don’t tell you in divorce articles. They talk about anger and loneliness and growing apart and starting over and being kind to yourself, but they don’t tell you about the untold hours in the black hole of why. Why? What changed? When? Why was I the one you chose to marry, but all of a sudden, I’m not enough anymore?

I guess Ive found that Id rather be alone than with the wrong person.

Get out of bed. Go to classes. Try to be normal, and pretty soon all that grief you carry...it gets easier.

I had to get over [him]. For months now, a stone had been sitting on my heart. Id shed a lot of tears over [him], lost a lot of sleep, eaten a lot of cake batter. Somehow, I had to move on. [Life] would be hell if I didnt shake loose from the grip he had on my heart. I most definitely didnt want to keep feeling this way, alone in a love affair meant for two. Even if hed felt like The One. Even if Id always thought wed end up together. Even if he still had a choke chain on my heart.

Granted, Id waited a long time to hear those words. Wouldve sold a kidney-maybe two-to have heard them at one point. Now, though...they didnt have the same impact. They were, in fact, an overcooked noodle in the pasta salad of love.

Commandment #1: Believe in yourself. Commandment #2: Get over yourself.

You know what I loved about Sideways? Well, the wine, of course. But it was one of the few movies in which being a writer was realistically depicted. I loved how the Paul Giamatti character tries so ineptly to talk about his book.