Quotes by Judy Carter

“Jesse Helms and Newt Gingrich were shaking hands congratulating themselves on the introduction of an anti-gay bill in Congress. If it passes, they wont be able to shake hands, because it will then be illegal for a prick to touch an asshole.”

“Its a lot easier being black than gay. At least if youre black you dont have to tell your parents.”

“About age 30 most women think about having children, most men think about dating them.”

“Corporate America is humor-impaired,”

“Youve got to lighten up because our lives are jokes, ... My whole idea is that we just have to accept the idea that stuff is going to happen. Life is humiliating and lets just have a good laugh about it.”

“This is what I call power joking, ... Weve gotten very politically correct at corporations and we dont want to make a joke to offend somebody or another group. So make fun of yourself.”

“My first recollection is of a nurse telling somebody would you please get this woman a bed. The name is Carter, C-A-R-T-E-R, yes, just like the president.”

“Smoking is absolutely a personal decision, and one that everyone knows is bad for your health. And exercise needs to be a part of everyones daily routine. It will help keep your heart and vessels in shape for your entire life.”

“Give compliments to others, and make it a point to interact with your family members. Speak slowly on purpose, and finally, sit for 15 minutes and do nothing.”

“Fatigue is becoming a very common complaint in the United States.”