Quotes by Jonathan L. Howard

Its a philosophical minefield!Cabal had a brief mental image of Aristotle walking halfway across an open field before unexpectedly disappearing in a fireball. Descartes and Nietzsche looked on appalled. He pulled himself together.

No churchmen, I notice. Of course not. What use have they for a world without irrational fear?

They served to remind Cabal - should a reminder ever be necessary - why his social skills were so poor: people were loathsome and not worth the practise.

Guns dont kill people. People kill people.But guns make it so much easier. Shall we go?

My God. Johannes, are you saying that you’re accepting this task because I asked you?’ Cabal did not reply. Instead he found a loose thread on the eiderdown and fiddled distractedly with it. Horst sat on the side of the bed, embraced his brother around the shoulders with one arm, and rubbed the top of his head with the knuckles of the other. ‘Horst!’ snapped Cabal. ‘I am no longer eight years old!’ Horst kissed him on the top of the head. ‘You’ll always be my little brother, Johannes, even if you look older than me now.

Lo! cried the demon. I am here! What dost thou seek of me? Why dost thou disturb my repose? Smite me no more with that dread rod! He looked at Cabal. Wheres your dread rod?I left it at home, replied Cabal. Didnt think I really needed it.You cant summon me without a dread rod! said Lucifuge, appalled.Youre here, arent you?Well, yes, but under false pretences. You havent got a goatskin or two vervain crowns or two candles of virgin wax made by a virgin girl and duly blessed. Have you got the stone called Ematille?I dont even know what Ematille is.Neither did the demon. He dropped the subject and moved on. Four nails from the coffin of a dead child?Dont be fatuous.Half a bottle of brandy?I dont drink brandy.Its not for you.I have a hip flask, said Cabal, and threw it to him. The demon caught it and took a dram.Cheers, said Lucifuge, and threw it back. They regarded each other for a long moment. This really is a shambles, the demon added finally. What did you summon me for, anyway?

Do you smoke, Herr Cabal?Only to be antisocial, replied Cabal, making no move.

Horst, you are a good man. You have always been so, and your soul is an untrammelled thing indeed.’ Horst winced and interrupted. ‘Ah. Well. Maybe not. There was that business with a lacrosse team…’ Now it was Cabal’s turn to wince. ‘Did anyone suffer?’ ‘Oh, no. Nothing like that.’ ‘Was everyone happy?’ ‘I flatter myself a little to think, yes. Everyone was very nice afterwards, anyway.’ ‘Then shut up. In a world as grimy and sin-ridden as ours, you’re a paragon precisely because your intentions are always good.’ ‘Johannes, I killed a man.’ ‘Pffft.

Lesson one: expect to get screwed over for the convenience of others on a regular basis.

All this bunch of so-called adults was doing was making enemies of one another when what they really needed to be concentrating on was how to get out alive.

Now youre an adult, Katya! hed said, picking her up under the armpits like hed been doing since shed been born.

Not entirely fair? His voice became that of the inferno: a rushing, booming howl of icy evil that flew around the great cavern, as swift and cold as the Wendigo on skates. I am Satan, also called Lucifer the Light Bearer...Cabal winced. What was it about devils that they always had to give you their whole family history?I was cast down from the presence of God himself into this dark, sulfurous pit and condemned to spend eternity here-Have you tried saying sorry? interrupted Cabal.No, I havent! I was sent down for a sin of pride. It rather undermines my position if I say sorry!

Horst passed him a bottle he had picked up in his rapid trip from there to here. Remarkably, its contents had survived the transit. Drink this, he said, unmoved by Cabals anger. You need to save your voice for your next session. Cabal took the bottle testily and swigged from it. there was a moments pause, just long enough for Cabals expression to change from testy to horrified revulsion. He spat the liquid violently onto the grass like a man who has got absent-minded with the concentrated nitric acid and a mouth pipette. He glared at Horst as he took off his spectacles and wiped his suddenly weeping eyes Disinfectant? You give me disinfectant to drink? Horsts surprise was replaced with mild amusement. Its root beer, Johannes. Have you never had root beer? Cabal looked suspiciously at him, then at the bottle People drink this? Yes. For non-medical reasons? Thats right. Cabal shook his head in open disbelief. They must be insane.