Quotes by John Stewart

“[Independent surveys estimate 1.5%-2% of Floridas high school athletes might be using steroids.] But against a student base of 215,000 athletes, its kind of scary to think that possibly 4,000 are at risk out there, ... We dont want to see any youngsters life at risk.”

“[Numerous different types of book were proposed. Poetry, novels, memoirs, essays, journals, scientific works. Several historical studies were recommended, including Angus Winchesters Harvest of the Hills, an examination of the pastoral culture of the Border regions during the medieval and early modern periods. It is a book, its advocate wrote,] which details the close interrelations between work and place, as well as broadening into the history and archaeology of the landscape ... Colliss experience as a land worker during the second world war on two farms in the south-east and south-west of England. He paints a rich picture of the way in which farms were run in the years prior to the major revolution brought by mechanisation, and introduces memorable characters from amongst the substantial manual labour force even modest-sized farms needed.”

“In the first call at 9:41 a.m. and again at 1:04 p.m., the caller reported a bomb was in the building and that it would go off in 20 minutes,”

“The Port Lavaca Police Department is requesting that parents make their children aware that a prank of this nature is a serious crime which can result in a permanent criminal record,”

“We have been contacted by several member schools that already have enrolled students from Alabama, Louisiana and Mississippi displaced by the storm,”

“Their schools are closed or destroyed, and there is no way at this time to obtain a transcript to verify their eligibility according to our rules.”

“Unfair diesel tax = high shop prices.”

“Any use of the Internet would be hampered, ... We would be paying a fee to be using things that are available for free everywhere else.”

“Were tracking well against that recovery path and were delighted with where the group is moving.”

“We really want to honor and recognize those people in our community that weve worked with, who are doing tremendous work out there to bring us all together,”

“I didnt realize that the news organizations look to Comedy Central for their cues on integrity ...Youre doing theatre when you should be doing debate... What you do is not honest... Youre on CNN! The show that leads in to me is puppets making prank phone calls! What is wrong with you?”