Quotes by Jimmy Kimmel

Arent all marriages kind of gay? As a man, when you get marries, essentially what youre saying is I will never touch another woman as long as I live, now lets put jewellery on each other and dance

The truth is, we have this idea that late night is about creativity and being cool, but thats not our job. Our job is to get as many people watching the commercials in between our show. Thats the reality of it.

I have had a lot of experience in broadcasting.

Its funny how all of this has worked out - I wasnt popular in high school, but now every drunken guy in the United States wants to be my pal. They all want to buy me a shot, and pretty soon Im throwing up.

I dont really need to be dirty to be funny.