Quotes by Jim Carrey

“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”

“I wake up some mornings and sit and have my coffee and look out at my beautiful garden, and I go, Remember how good this is. Because you can lose it.”

“If Im not back in five minutes... just wait longer!”

“I really want to love somebody. I do. I just dont know if its possible forever and ever.”

“My report card always said, Jim finishes first and then disrupts the other students.”

“Desperation is a necessary ingredient to learning anything, or creating anything. Period. If you aint desperate at some point, you aint interesting.”

“Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when theyre eating sandwiches.”

“There is nothing like making love to somebody you give a shit about.”

“Until Ace Ventura, no actor had considered talking through his ass.”

“Green Eggs and Ham was the story of my life. I wouldnt eat a thing when I was a kid, but Dr. Suess inspired me to try cauliflower.”

“Thats the trouble with being me. At this point, nobody gives a damn what my problem is. I could literally have a tumor on the side of my head and theyd be like, Yeah, big deal. Id eat a tumor every morning for the kinda money youre pulling down.”

“When youre up to your nose in shit, keep your mouth shut”

“Life is like a shit sandwich the more bread you have the less shit you have to eat.”

“Boys, I may not know much, but I know chicken shit from chicken salad.”

“Austin City Limits.”

“I think I could go away tomorrow. Ive already accomplished something. Its such a selfish business that sometimes I get sick of myself.”

“Man on the Moon?”

“New management came in and they cleaned everybody out — so we hit the skids. We lived in a van, so I kind of know what happens to people when this happens.”

“[Not that youd think so, based on the films first 10 minutes or so. Although our introduction to the title characters home environment is wincingly, achingly hilarious - this is the sort of guy who, at 40, probably has a lifetime pass to San Diegos annual Comic Con - the effect of set decorator K.C. Foxs carefully assembled] virgins pad ... Me, Myself & Irene.”

“Im not a huge remake fan but I loved the first movie, and I thought it was more relevant now than it was back then, because of all the Enron-type swindles. I thought it would be a great opportunity to take a shot at all the white-collar creeps and give people a bit of relief, because everyones feeling theyre part of a company these days. Its a good outlet for that frustration.”